April 27, 2000 - Jake says...
"I am brandon's best friend and I your saw your wed
page and brandon told me how you e-mailed him. First off I want to say
I am sorry for what you had to go though. your story touched me deeply
and my prays go out to you and your family. I am in the same boat as brandon
I can't get Eric off my mind every time I see some one they look like him
and I am like is that Eric and the I realize it isn't. I suffer of depression
too. I am on medications for it and it helps but I went for three years
trying to kill myself but I got the help I needed and I am doing better
then I was. I wonder why but we will never no I tell myself. I miss him
so much we had this routine we would go in the bath room at 4th per and
check our hair together and it was so fun we would have water fights and
I just think its 4th per and I go in the bathroom but he is not there then
I start crying. I need so tips like you gave brandon. thanks for your time
, again I send my deepest condolences to you and your family. if we could
stay in touch that would be great, with lots of love." Jake
April 27, 2000 - Dona says...
"I AM SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR SON'S SUICIDE. MY SON
JASON COMMITTED SUICIDE SEPTEMBER 3, 1999 3 DAYS AFTER HIS 27TH BIRTHDAY.
I DO NOT KNOW WHY HE DID IT, BUT HE WAS BIPOLAR AND WOULD NOT TAKE HIS
MEDICATIONS. I FOUGHT WITH HIM SINCE HE WAS 8 YEARS OLD TO TAKE HIS
MEDICATIONS AND GO TO COUNSELING. HE WAS HOSPITALIZED MANY
TIMES BECAUSE OF SUICIDE THREATS. HE WAS ALWAYS IN TROUBLE
IN SCHOOL AND WAS DIAGNOSED AS ADHD. I DON'T BELIEVE THEY EVER REALLY DIAGNOSED HIM PROPERLY.
HE WAS SO DISGUSTED BY THE MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM, HE WANTED NOTHING TO DO WITH IT AS
AN ADULT. HE MET HIS WIFE IN 1990, THEY DATED FOR 5 YEARS AND
WOULD HAVE BEEN MARRIED 5 YEARS THIS PAST FEB. 11. MY DAUGHTER-IN-LAW
SHANNON GAVE BIRTH TO A BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL ON HER 25TH BIRTHDAY MARCH
10, 1999. MY SON LOVED HER VERY MUCH BUT HE HAD A PROBLEM WITH CHANGES
ALL OF HIS LIFE. THEY WERE HAVING PROBLEMS BUT SEEMED TO BE SOLVING
THEM. HE CAME HOME FROM WORK AT 6:30 THAT NIGHT... HE
WAS GONE AT 7:00 P.M. I FEEL AS THOUGH IT WAS MY FAULT FOR NOT PUSHING HIM
HARDER TO GET THE HELP HE NEEDED EVEN THOUGH HE WOULD BECOME ANGRY WITH ME FOR EVEN
SUGGESTING HE NEEDED HELP. MY LIFE ENDED THE NIGHT HE DID THIS. I AM TRYING
DESPERATELY TO HANG ON FOR MY DAUGHTER, AND MY 3 GRANDCHILDREN. CORTNEY NEEDS TO KNOW
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, WARM LOVING MAN HER FATHER WAS AND HOW MUCH HE LOVED
HER... MY SON HAD EVERYTHING TO LIVE FOR, A LOVING FAMILY,
A GREAT JOB, A NICE HOME, GREAT LOOKS, TERRIFIC SENSE OF HUMOR, MANY FRIENDS,
INTELLIGENCE AND A MOM WHO ADORED HIM. YOUR STORY OF JARED TOUCHED ME DEEPLY, MAYBE SOMEDAY
I WILL BE ABLE TO WRITE A BOOK ABOUT MY WONDERFUL SON. FOR NOW I STRUGGLE EVERY
DAY TO JUST DO WHAT I HAVE TO TO GO ON. THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I
HAVE REACHED OUT TO ANOTHER PARENT WHO HAS GONE THROUGH THIS HORRIBLE EXPERIENCE. YOU HAVE HELPED
ME TODAY BY DISCUSSING IN JARED'S WEBSITE ABOUT WHERE
THEY GO AFTER SUICIDE. THIS HAS BEEN THE HARDEST PART, NOT KNOWING
WHERE HE IS. I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN TAUGHT THAT SUICIDES GO TO
HELL. I HAVE HAD A COMPUTER FOR 12 YEARS AND HAVE NEVER WRITTEN
TO ANYONE, YOU ARE THE FIRST. DID YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THE
WAY YOU FELT ABOUT GOD? I WOULD LIKE TO TELL YOU I WILL PRAY FOR
YOU, BUT RIGHT NOW I CAN'T. PLEASE FORGIVE ME." (I
told Dona that I was upset that God didn't send Angels to prevent Jared
from taking his life but I don't "blame" God in any way.)
April 27, 2000 - Jessica says...
"I was looking at your website today, and I found it
very inspiring and thoughtful. I am sorry about your son. I
lost my fiancée last year to suicide. It has been very difficult
to keep my head up, but I have come a long way this year. I moved
and started over... I moved to Florida, where the sun shines everyday,
and my face is always towards the light. I am young, 27, and I know
that things will get better and better in time. My family continues
to be a great source of strength. I just wanted to say thank you
for your story, I know that your memorial and links have helped a lot of
people. Thank you. I know that Jared and Michael are in eternal peace...
they are with us in spirit. Thank you again for your contribution
April 27, 2000 - Jerry says...
"What a wonderful website. As a psychiatric malpractice
attorney, I am all too familiar with the pain and grief that comes in the
wake of a suicide. This is such a tremendous tribute to Jared.
But equally important, it's great to see you doing something to help prevent
suicide and to provide a resource for those who may need it."
Jerry Meek, J.D., M.A., Simpson and Meek, P.C.
(Practice limited to Psychiatric and Psychological
2828 Woodside Street, Dallas, TX
April 26, 2000 - Brandon says...
"Hello, my name is Brandon and I with hundreds of other
peers have lost a close friend that everyone loved due to suicide. He was
only 14 and the hardest thing is the question why? He was the most popular
kid at school, lots of friends, a whole life in front of him, he was looking
forward to high school football and driving. I looked at your web page
and it really touched me. As much as Eric's death has affected me as a
friend, I can't imagine what it's like for a mother and that's why I congratulate
you on your web page and how you seem to look at your situation. But the
thing I can't do is move on, because Eric's death is always on my mind.
It was Feb. 28 when he left us and I try to move on and get over it, but
I just can't. I read the 30
suggestions page, but I don't think they'd work. I've already tried
a lot of things, but it's just to hard. When kids see it on TV it doesn't
show all the people affected by his/her acts, and they don't realize how
serious suicide is. That's where the problem starts, then there's depression
and fear of not living up to expectations of parents or friends. The only
positive thing that could come out of this situation is a lesson that everyone
should learn. About how much everyone is loved by their peers and
that you're parents love you so much more than you think even though they
sometimes yell at you, or are hard on you sometimes. I was wondering if
you could send me some tips on how you moved on with your life after your
son has passed away and I also wanted to say how much your story moves
me and touches me deeply. My heart goes out to you and your family and
I wish you the best in life."
April 26, 2000 - Donna (a grandmother)
"Hi! Please forgive me if you are not the
correct one to whom I should direct this correspondence; I am just beginning
this research and you are my starting point. Our grandson attempted suicide this past Sunday, and
was hospitalized until this morning, when he was released without any instructions
about where to go or what to do for professional follow-up on his apparent
depression and/or other related problems. Unfortunately, this 18-year-old
boy is eight hours away, living with his natural mother and step-father
at the other end of the state (...in Northern California), and not currently
living with his natural father and step-mother (local to us... Southern California) who
are doing everything they can to learn about this problem so that proper
follow-up care is provided our grandson. Because I am online
and the boy's local parents (our son/daughter-in-law) are not, I am surfing
the Internet in the hope of finding someone who can direct us on what to
do and where to go next to help our grandson. Because of the
nature of this matter, I believe time is of the essence and would appreciate any help you may provide, as soon
as possible. Thank you for your anticipated response." (I
gave Donna what I could)
April 25, 2000 - Jamie says...
"Hi. ...I was reading about your son and
it was really a touching story. I suffer from depression also and
have tried to commit suicide many times. I spend hours looking and
web pages about teens that have been sucessful... i guess as a way to show
me that im not alone. and i particularly liked Jared's story. thank
you for sharing about your son.
p.s. i was wondering if you could tell me more
about him.. but only if you want.
Hi. Im not sure what triggers
my suicidal thoughts or depression. And no one really understands
because i guess in their eyes in not the "suicidal type" im a cheerleader,
happy go lucky, out going teenage girl and people just don't understand
how i could be depressed and cut on my self. Im not exactly sure
why i was trying to kill myself or why i would cut on my
body. I think its
more for the attention from people. ...Right now they have me on a medicine
that is working really good... while i still think about it i don't act
out on my thoughts anymore."
April 25, 2000 - Michelle says...
"I am sorry to read about your son. Just recently
my little brother also committed suicide. It is a terrible thing
that no one should go through but we have. I just wanted to say that
it is a wonderful website and a great tribute to your son. Once again
I'm sorry for your loss, keep strong and never forget. Love
April 24, 2000 - Mehdi says...
"hi my name is mehdi, first of all i would like to
say i'm sorry for what happened to your son jared, it's really touching.
i have a question for you (if i may of course): ...what did lead
him to do that? was it a depression or it was something else since he was
hyperactive as a toddler? please, if you can, e-mail me back i will greatly
appreciate it. yours" (Jared had depression
from an assault in his Middle School by a bully)
April 23, 2000 - "PartyA" says...
"i was a teen caught up in suicide and your story has
helped the most in life"
April 20, 2000 - Liz says...
"I want to thank you for creating the Jaredstory web
site. For the longest time I have been feeling extremely depressed but
im not exactly sure why. I have a wonderful, supportive family, school
is going okay, and my friends are great. I have extremely low self esteem
though and feel so worthless and useless. I noticed my behavior had
changed, but I couldn't control it. When I suspected something was wrong
I tried to explain what I had been going through to my parents, they just
shrugged it off and told me it was just a faze and i'll get over it, by
this time I was losing it. I tried to end my life by overdosing, I would
take about 50 different pills and all the medicines I could get a hold of (this just made
me extremely sick to my stomach). I was so terrified but I couldn't do
anything about it. Finally I got help, my parents and I worked up a plan
and all thanks to your website! When my mom suspected something was wrong
she came across your website! we're all very appreciative, thank you! My
life is back on track now!!!!!!"
April 17, 2000 - lives in Mesa
"That's a real neat web sight you have there. I wish
I had this computer 3 yrs. ago when my 14 yrs. old son shot himself. He
had depression too. It's hard, isn't it? Especially so young. Looks like
you may be helping alot of young kids out there."
April 15, 2000 - Sweetbullet
"TODAY I TOOK SOME PILLS... AND WENT TO SLEEP.
SINCE I HAVE AWAKEN I HAVE FELT OUT OF PLACE. MY HEART IS QUITE AND
MY MIND IS STILL. ...DO YOU SOMETIMES FEEL LIKE YOU'RE TALKING TO
YOURSELF? ...IT FEELS TERRIBLE AND IT HURTS. I FEEL SAD RIGHT
NOW AND I FEEL OUT OF CONTROL. I WISH I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH
ME . ...I AM CRYING AND I CAN'T STOP AND I WANT TO BE ALONE.
I JUST WANT TO LEAVE SOMEWHERE AND GET LOST. ...RIGHT NOW I AM ON VACATION AND I AM HAPPIER WHEN I AM AT WORK.
I WORK WITH HANDICAPPED KIDS. I LOVE IT AND I LOVE THEM AND
I MISS THEM A WHOLE BUNCH ALREADY..."
April 15, 2000 - Kanwardeep says...
"After death as you have mentioned in your website
that spirit doesn't die, So is that spirit put into the shape of animals,
ants or of human being only; I am not a christian"
(I referred Kanwardeep to The
Meaning of Life section)
April 14, 2000 - In Sorrow says...
"I just lost a good friend who played on the baseball
team my father coaches and I was trying to find the words to comfort the
team and in doing this I came across your webpage dedicated to your beloved
son. It helped me deal with the loss I feel inside! You do
not know me but I am very grateful to you, Thank You for sharing your story
with others. May God continue to Bless You, A person in sorrow, now
April 12, 2000 - Aida says...
"Your website is incredible. I put in favorites
that way I can always go back and check out the new things you put up.
Putting your son's story on the internet has really helped. Let me
tell you that this is not the first time I've thought about suicide.
I haven't committed yet because I never really know which way to go.
My dad has guns and knives, we have plenty of pills all around the house.
but reading your story (or rather your sons story) gave me something to
think about. I just want to say thank you for letting all of us be
a part. Going to that website was a tremendous help!"
April 11, 2000 - Anonymous says...
"Hi, I am a 15 year old Hispanic and I am a Sophomore
in high school. Ever since 8th grade I have thought of suicide too many
times. I've never told anyone and now, after reading facts of suicide on
your website I am scared. I realized that I can relate to more than half
of it. I have attempted suicide twice by cutting my left wrist and cutting
into my left upper chest until I bled. I hurt myself other times by cutting
my right lower leg and punching my left arm until I had a bruise. I can't
tell my friends or my family. I did tell my mom that I thought of suicide
but she didn't say much. I feel worthless more than once a month. I don't
have a boyfriend, I am involved in Junior Varsity softball and I have a
great sense of humor. I always feel like I never have nothing to offer.
I want to know how I can get help fast. Thank you." (I
gave her some information in the 'About
April 10, 2000 - Nicole says...
"Sorry I haven't gotten back to you on how I did on
my project. I got a 90 on the written report and a 100 on the presentation.
My teacher wrote on the back of my project:
for your private thoughts. I am so glad to see you better and I can
see very special things about you especially your strength, creativity,
and your beautiful face- Love,
I believe (just a feeling, which I get sometimes)
that my project wouldn't have been complete without your help. Thank you
so much. Sincerely Nicole"
April 9, 2000 - Maryanne says...
"I went to your web site. It was very moving. But I
my self have been feeling very suicidal and now decided to talk to someone
that i trust and get help. Thanks to you thanks"
April 8, 2000 - 'Littleboy' says...
"IM doing a research paper on teen age suicide, for
my final senior project at school, I picked the topic because 2 of my friends
have killed them self. One very recently, 2 days ago, I like your
page a lot because it can help people deal with all the feeling that come
with losing someone to suicide."
April 8, 2000 - 'Hopeless' says...
"Hi, I really feel suicidal right now and i know suicide
isn't the answer to my problems but i feel like it is the only way out.
I am in high school, i'm a grade 9 and from Ontario. I'm having a fight
with my friend and it's really petty. she's getting everyone into it even
people from other schools. I just want it to end. But they keep going on
and on . I've told them that i don't have time for this kinda stuff and
to leave me alone, but they keep coming back for more and more. And each
time it hurts more and more. I'm also going out with this guy and we used
to all be friends. He still is friends with them, but now that were in
a fight their trying to brake us up. He means so much to me that i'd give
up everything for him. we almost broke up the other day because of them,
and now i know that their gonna convince him to break up with me. I have
talked to him about this a few times. And he says he wants to be with me,
and he doesn't care what they say, but i still believe that they are going
to convince him. I don't know what to do. Because now they are telling
me that they watch everything i do and there gonna beat my ass in.
I don't know who to turn to for advice. My friends say that they'll back
me up but i don't think they will. i don't want to fight. I just want everything
to be right. What should i do to make it better?? hopeless"
April 7, 2000 - Hope says...
"...I'm 15 from Mississippi. I read your web page about
your son and I'm so sorry I know how it is to lose someone you love so
much especially to suicide. You know I say that but I still think about
suicide myself and that scares me a lot. I just wanted to write and tell
you that I'm sorry and I will pray for you and your family I know that
your son was about my age and I know the pain that he was feeling too well
...I have a way to go. There is so much in my mind Take care
and God Bless you"
April 5, 2000 - Kim says...
"Hello, im a 17 year old high school student and im
doing a report on suicide. I was surfing the web and came across your web
site. I think its great that you did it in memory of your son. I enjoyed
and all the fun things he liked to do. I really wanna use his story for
my report. I think it would touch my class mates alot. If u would rather
me not talk about
it and use it in my report just say so and i wont.
thank you. your son was a beautiful person."
April 5, 2000 - Lillian
"I will use your advice on the
you suggested. I already looked at your web page. As for
my best friend, Melissa, I already know what is causing her depression.
It's her family life. She was a crack baby, she had an identical
twin sister that died at 4 months old from neglect. Also she was
molested by her moms boyfriend when she was 12 years old (now almost 19,
she hasn't seen or spoken to her mom since but her mom married this guy
about 1-2 years ago. She is learning to deal with it now. She is
learning to deal with a lot of things. She was in Philadelphia, PA
for the longest time so it was hard for us to keep in contact but now they moved her up to Allentown, PA which is 10 minutes
away from my home. I am there everyday to see her, unlike her father. Her
father is another reason that is keeping her so depressed. He won't
come to see her and he only lives 5 minutes away. As I told you before
I am one of the only people that she has to count on. Since I have
been coming to visit her everyday the staff said that they have definitely
seen a change in her. Melissa knows that I love her and that I am
here for her. Right now I have her calling me if something is bothering her instead of her trying to hurt herself. I
know the pain of losing someone to death but not really suicide.
...Thank you for all your help. I will keep in touch."
April 4, 2000 - Melody says...
"I just found your web page. I lost my son to
suicide five years ago. I must say I will never get over it... I've
only found some ways to get through the grief day by day. I think
that what you are doing is good for you and good for others. I have
basically suffered alone because I feel as if no one could understand.
Thanks for what you are doing."
April 4, 2000 - Lillian says...
"I am sorry to hear about your son. I was wondering
if I could ask for your help. There are 2 reasons why: First, I have
a best friend who has been in 6 different hospitals over 3 years because
she has depression and has attempted suicide many times, and secondly I
am doing a research paper for college on the effects of suicide on other
people. If it is not too much trouble, I was wondering if you help
me by telling me on how you dealt with the loss and how it effected your
life as well as the rest of family. This would not only help me with
my paper but it would also help me to help my best friend, Melissa.
I am basically one of the only people she has to count on and I am trying
my best to help her through it. If you could please share your story
with me I could share it with her. Your help would be very much appreciated.
Thank you for your time." (I referred Lillian
to The Dealing
With Grief page in JaredStory.com)
April 4, 2000 - Shelby says...
"I handed in the report, three days later my teacher
came to me and said that no one else's report touched him. I was so proud.
It included your story, which is now a part in my heart. My teacher told
me that he was going to give me 30 points extra credit. Thanks to you I
finally got the A I've been waiting for the whole year. We
didn't get the actual grades for our papers yet, but the extra credit was
put onto last quarters grades. We brought home our report cards yesterday.
It was the first time in so long that I was this proud of myself, my accomplishments,
and you helped me get that A. I keep thinking back to my decision, of life
...not death and each day become greater and greater, because I'm beginning
to love people I've never loved before. It's an incredible feeling to know
that I chose the right thing. Ever since the day I went to JaredStory.com
have prayed each night for you ..and for Jared in Heaven. It's so crazy
that, you, someone I really don't even know has helped me so much. I am
truly thankful for you. I now own 17 *NSYNC cds. On the new one that
just came out on the 21st of March has a song called "I Thought She Knew"
I feel like God is saying I thought she knew to me about the dangers of
suicide, and I believe that he had more love for me now that I made the
right choice. My birthday ...my dad gave me one of my presents
already ...a trip to see *NSYNC in concert. I was so thrilled. I've
seen them in concert once before, but I don't know why, but this time seems
like it will mean more to me. The actual concert will be this summer, i'm
not sure of the date yet though. Thank you for everything you have
given me!! Love and Thanks"
April 4, 2000 - Kristy says...
"Hi, my name is Kristy and I am a sophomore in college.
I am taking a death and dying class this semester and I am doing a paper
on suicide. No, I am not thinking about suicide or anything, suicide
is just an interesting topic and I want to learn a little more about it.
Anyway, I need to know more about the grieving processes and the bereaved.
If there is any sites you may know about that deal with the grieving processes
I would greatly appreciate you sending them to me. I really enjoyed
your webpage, it was very well done. I am sorry to hear about your
son, but you seem to be a strong women and I am proud you have gotten through
your loss. Like I said, if you have any info. can you please send
it to me? Thanks so much."
(I referred Kristy to several
April 3, 2000 - Dontez says...
"Hey I think that you should put on... (Dealing
With Grief) Pray, Pray< Pray and Pray and if that
doesn't work Pray, God Bless
I know what it feels like to
want to take your own life and that what got me through it I must say all
you can do is pray."
April 2, 2000 - Douglas says...
"I was sent to your website by a friend of mine. I lost
my son only a few weeks after you. I'm sorry for your loss, weak as words are. I'm doing some research on teen suicides within
the LDS community. My son was a member of the LDS Church. ...questions
are constantly there.
...Thanks for your return. Mormons *don't* have
an inside system or support series for survivors of suicide, and that's
one of the reasons for my research. I have my own opinions as to why that
is, but my opinions have no place here. About 3 days after my son
took his own life, there was a 2 full page article in the Deseret News,
and a follow up in the Salt Lake Tribune, about suicide along the Wasatch
Front. (Salt Lake City, Provo, Ogden) This story hit me at a time when
I needed to know about others. ...My son was born 1 year and 13 days
before Jared, and he died less than 5 weeks following. And while I think
I know the 'why's', I'll never know. And knowing them, for me, doesn't
really matter, because it simply breeds a tremendous degree of anger towards those responsible
for his emotions, including myself, as to the fact that knowing the why's
won't bring him back. And I don't know that I can live with that.
So, my research is leading me to finding some answers, especially as to
why the Church won't acknowledge this shockingly high rate of death among
it's members. ...More than anything, I think that for strong members
of the LDS faith, it allows the application of certain beliefs that somewhat
salve the pain of the loss. And the LDS faith system, at least in Utah,
really precludes the discussion of suicide. It's a forbidden subject in...
Church functions. Even my own bishop wasn't aware of that until I brought
it to his attention..."
April 1, 2000 - Jessica
"I'm sooooo sorry to hear about
your son. ...My out look on suicide is been somewhat subsided. I don't
get to go to public school because I get made fun of. They call me the
"Brain Freak" or "The Science Experiment, Gone Wrong" Just Because I'm
a 15yr. old Senior. In January of this year, I lost my closest friend to
suicide, I walked in right as he pulled the trigger, and I saw the fear
in his eyes. I can't get that image out of my head! It was the worse thing
I have ever witnessed..."
FROM THE PAST
2001 - JAN
2001 - NOV 2000-MAR 2001
2000 - NOV 2000
- OCT 2000
2000 - SEPT-OCT
2000 - AUG 2000
2000 - JUNE-AUG
2000 - JUNE
2000 - MAY
2000 - MAR
2000 - JAN-FEB
2000 - OCT-DEC
1999 - AUG-SEPT
1999 - JAN-JULY
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