August 31 - 'Littleone' says...
"i was visiting the site u made, it really made me
think at what i had tried to do and how selfish i am for thinking about
doing again. sometimes i think that its all a game my mind plays with itself.
for many years now i have went through ups and downs with many attempts
never quite pulling em off but i dunno i just fell like how am i suppose
to tell mom or dad bout it. its not something u necessarily bring up over dinner. they
have there suspicions. moms put me on pills called saint johns wort
or something like that. well i guess i better go. i thank u so much for
letting me get this off my chest it helps more than u know" (bring
your concerns up after dinner... they need to know how you are feeling.
You are blessed to have parents that really care, and love you!)
August 28 - Margie says...
"i am 16 years old. i was on tonight and looking
up suicidals... because i was wondering how people get through stuff like
this. ...i need some one to talk to. ...i don't know how to explain it.
but it seems like i am always alone. no friends nothing !!! i mean
i have friends but its like they don't care and just use me. they always
say things about me ..mean things .. i guess i am not good enough ...or
stupid or something. ..i don't eat, i don't sleep and when i do,
it is always just because i have nothing better to do or i just can't think
of anything... i have slash marks on my arms from where i cut myself when
i am mad or depressed, and when my friend see them, they only laugh
and make jokes about it. ....i have nothing, feel nothing, am sometimes
think that i am nothing. ...my mother is a great person. sometimes
i think that she is the only person who truly loves me, and i wish she
only knew what i was feeling most of the time. i am afraid to tell her
though because of what she might think of what i say. i am going to tell
you this, when i am depressed, the only person i can think about, is my
mother. i know that jared loved you dearly, because it is always
our mothers who make us feel like we are somebody. i just wish my
mom truly knew how much i love and appreciate her .. ..i just don't know
what to do any more. (give your mom a chance
and tell her how you are feeling!)
and later... ...sometimes
i just cant help myself but to be depressed. i cant control it. i wasn't
always like this. i come from a good family with a spiritual back ground.
i always use to go to church but somehow i just stopped going. i
don't even remember how it happened. ...every once in a while i will
get like this. it always starts out by some one saying something to me
or about me. i guess i have a real low self esteem. i guess that
i am just a real sensitive person. maybe that is why i take things so personally.
it is so hard to live in the world now days. you are always known
for what and how you look not for who you are..."
August 27 - Hayley says...
"I have a friend right now who recently cut his wrists
and prayed to God he would die. I'm trying to figure out how to talk
to him now and help him. I've been reading other situations and the
ways to help these people out, so any help would be greatly appreciated."
trying and help him find some professional (and group) counseling.)
August 27 - Antonia says...
"I am 15 years old and i have a friend who brought
up this topic about committing suicide several times sometimes she's
kidding sometimes i can't tell since we usually talk online. What should
I say to her in order to get such a horrible thought out of her head?
She does have a lot of friends and I know a lot of people care about her.
...Why would she want to commit suicide? She doesn't give me reasons why,
it's mostly like, "i just hate life" but nothing after that to explain
WHY she hates life. I would appreciate if you could give me questions to
ask her. I would tell her parents but i know she has a nice relationship
with her mom and if she is kidding i don't want to look stupid, plus i
hardly know her parents... I told her she needs to go for help if she really
wants to do that, but she says she's doesn't need help. I don't want to
lose this friend she helped me out a lot. Please help me...
and later... Thank you
so much for the helpful information you gave me. ...I did start speaking
to her about what she had brought up the other night and she told me that
she was kidding and that she was only upset about something for just a
little while and that she was better now. Should I leave it at that or
should I talk to her about it. She's not the type of person to tell
me things as much as we hang out a lot she still seems a little shy to
express her feelings..." (You must
take your friend seriously because when someone mentions suicide it's a
cry for help and attention. Your friend may not even know why she
is saying what she's saying. She may not know she has depression,
and that's likely her problem. Read, "Suicide,
A Teenage Epidemic" and look at all the signs and triggers. Then
copy it off and give a copy to her parents and tell them you are worried.
It's better to feel "stupid" than feel guilty or grief later. Her
parents will appreciate you for telling them something they were not aware
of. Also, you can refer them to my website if you are uncomfortable
about giving them too much information about what's happening with their
daughter. Our family had no warning when Jared decided to take his life.
He told no one what he was planning to do. He didn't ask for help.
This is very rare in suicide cases. Almost always there are words
spoken to someone before the act of suicide is carried out. Be sure
your friends parents get the chance that we never got.)
August 27 - 'Hoop' says...
"i was just wondering if u have any words of advice
for a guy who has been turned down by the most beautiful girl of his wildest
imaginations just 4 real. I've given suicide a thought but i don't know
about what to do. even though she doesn't like me in that way i still love
her and think about her all of the time. please help" (...you
are suffering from a form of grief.
You have suffered from the loss of love, which can be a
trigger to depression and then suicide. Be sure and get some
counseling to help you get through your loss.)
August 26 - Kimi says...
"I read the story about your son. I'm really sorry.
I know my words cant really help , but knowing that someone who is less
than a year older than me can be taken from this world is sad. I hope you
and your family are doing ok. I really like how on the site it has all
the links and stuff. That was cool. I did have one question though. You
don't have to tell me if you don't feel comfortable, But, How did your
son die? I mean , what caused it? (My friend April stabbed herself in the
stomach 3 times. She left a note and stuff on her bedside table. It was
really weird after knowing it happened) Do you understand why he did what
he did? I saw it said that your family had a lot of 'why' questions...
Do you think he did things that gave you signs about being depressed or
anything before? Do you know what some of the signs
to look for are? I read in a pamphlet that drug use and staying away
from usual groups of friends and stuff like that are, but I don't know
if my friends are using drugs and if they are my friends they evidentially
aren't staying away from our 'group'... Well, Thanks for your time and
Sorry This was so long.. Even when sunshine pushes away the rain,
I still wonder who'll take away my pain." (Jared
was beat up inside his Middle School by a bully and never was the same
afterwards. His 'trigger'
to depression, and then suicide, was an assault.)
August 24 - Brandi says...
"I would like to say I am sorry. The Life has
mysterious ways of taking people from us and suicide unfortunately is the
most hard. A friend From my school committed suicide on Wednesday.
He shot himself. He was my boyfriends best friend. He isn't
taking it so well. I can't begin to imagine how it feels to have
someone you so deeply love and care about take their own life, but you
have to imagine what was in his head. It's not an easy thing to deal with but people have their reasons I guess.
I have so many emotions being thrown at me right now..... sadness,
loneliness, anger, guilt, frustration. It hurts to know that someone
you know can actually be brought to that point. Like what could we
have done to stop it.... right? But in reality whatever happens is
meant to be, sadly to say. Well Im sorry this has to happen to good people. Your family is in my
prayers, much love. God is Watching over Jared, and your family as well
as Jon and his family!"
August 24 - Michelle says...
"I work for Rape Counseling service in Fresno, California.
Our Executive Director lost her 14 year old daughter "Jeni" almost two years ago
to suicide. The effect on our office family and Lee Ann's life and her
extended family and friends was unreal. We are building a web page for
victims of sexual assault. We have seen a definite connection between rape
victims and suicide attempts. I would like to make your web site the link
for addressing suicide on our site. God Bless you... I am pregnant with a boy, due any day now and my heart
just aches thinking about what you must still be going through. I
thank you for sharing your story and hope that through this site and ours,
we can offer hope to teens in crisis." (Yes, rape
is definitely at trigger for depression and suicide. Your counseling
service is an act of love for victims of sexual assault)
August 24 - 'DiGiTaL' says...
"is it wrong to kill yourself?" (Check
out, The Meaning
of Life section of JaredStory.com and Where
to those who die by suicide go?)
August 23 - David says...
"I must inform you that that
www.JaredStory.com has been an epiphany in my life... I have
suffered from depression for
some time. I am 31 years old. I live in Tamarac, Florida, a
Fort Lauderdale suburb. As a teenager, I thought long and hard of taking
my own life. Even as a productive adult, such thoughts have crossed
my mind. From the bottom of my heart, I can honestly express that
the content of www.JaredStory.com has significantly contributed to helping
me find my sense of self worth once again! Although the professional
assistance which I sought earlier this year was critical in the successful
treatment of my depression, www.JaredStory.com has enabled
me to personally reconfirm that I do live in a world in which I can experience
JOY AND LOVE! Mrs. High, it is blatantly obvious that Jared's heart
was filled with so much love, light, and selflessness. My intuition
tells me that he was, to an extent, mature beyond his years. I have
profound respect for your strength, spirit, and for your family.
If you have created a symbol, for example, a ribbon, or a pin in Jared's
memory, it would make me feel so good to wear it. If anything of
this sort is available, please let me know how I may acquire it!
In closing, I look forward to your continued development and evolution
August 22 - Rika says...
"Today I spent time with a mother of a 7 year old
classmate of my daughter. The classmate of my daughter name was Daniel
D. Daniel was found Friday in his bedroom dead from hanging from
a backpack in his room. I met Daniel one day after school when my
daughter told me that the other children from off the bus was picking on
him about his teeth being decayed in the front. I stopped the car
and turned it around so that I could pick Daniel up and take him home.
Daniel was a very bright child and he began to tell me about the goat he
had and some baseball cards he was collecting, etc. I continued to
see Daniel daily after school and i would ask him if he was ok, he would
respond by saying yes and he would go home. Sometimes, or I should
say most of the time, his father would come to the bus stop and pick him
up. I can not understand a child so young killing himself and it
is hard for me to believe this child did just that. I talk with the
parents everyday and I don't see them harming their child. Yet I
just don't see this as suicide. If you can help me understand more about
children this young killing themselves i would be grateful." (How
can anyone not be touched by this sad story! - In reality, this child was
not of the age of accountability in God's, or anyone's, eyes - Check out,
Meaning of Life section of JaredStory.com and Where
to those who die by suicide go?)
August 21 - a cousin says...
"my cousin committed suicide and I don't know how
do deal with it I thought why and nothing came in to mind. I wanted to
be with him but I don't want to, things are real good at home. How do I
deal with this? how long does it take? I wish I knew all the answer. we
were like brother and sister we were really close I wish he was still here!"
take a long time but doing a healing
project can help you get through your grief better.)
August 16 - Sandy says...
"what an absolute beautiful child, My eyes are so
full of tears right now I can hardly see my computer screen. His
blonde hair and beautiful face remind me so much of my Danny. God
bless you, what an honor to be this young man's mom." Sandy N, Mother of , Danny, 3/17/77 - 12/27/96
August 15 - Alice says...
"Jared's web pages and all the work you have done
for suicide survivors - AWESOME. Have informed my suicide survivors
online group. How long did it take I wonder for you to compile all
this info?" (Ongoing healing project... since
October 1998) Colin 9/2/76-3/29/99
August 15 - Kim says...
"...almost all of my life i have been suicidal.
i've tried everything, from cutting my writs, drinking poison, and over
dosing. and i am almost 13 yrs old. i want 2 change, be happy,
but everything that i try never seems 2 work. people think i live
a happy life... i do good in school, have a lot of friends, and even a
boy friend. but nothing seems 2 help... when will the pain go away!?
so i would like it if u could send me some stuff about suicide, 2 help
me. i thank u very much!!
and later - (to
Sonja - Jared's sister) i don't believe in god... i am
wiccan. cause if there was a real god, there wouldn't be so much
hate and pain. also, no 1 would suffer."
August 13 - Danyelle says...
"Hi I just emailed you to see if you could
help me i got bullied every day in my 7th grade year and every day before
i went to bed i ask God if i could die my dad always acted like i
was no good and always put me i my room for little things no food no bathroom
for around 32 hours and my life was just not going the way i wanted it
to i wish i would die every day now am about to go in 8th grade and i am
afraid that my school year will be just like last year and i do not want
it to be like last years and not i really want to kill myself before i
have to go to school but i just don't want to leave my best friend, mom-mom,
pop-pop, and my sister. my sister looks up to me i am the only person
that she can talk last year my little cousin got raped by my older cousin.
i was raped by my step dad and my Mom did not believe me until he was arrested
last week. my Mom was put in the hospital 2 times in one week
i want to die so bad but i cant to it to the people that i love but i don't
want to live in fear any more. and I wonder am i going to go
to school and not get beat up today can you please help me
and later - Hi Sonja
sister) I am really glad you wrote me I felt not so alone. ...Last
night out of no where some girl called me and threatening me and said that
she was going to kill me because i stole her boy friend and she knows it
is not true. ...she was always there right when i got off the bus
giving me dirty looks she never like me she always wanted to beat me up
but never had a reason and now she is making up a reason and i am so scared
and i no it is not true it can not be true because i am to ugly to get
her boy friend and right after she called last night i called my best friend
and she said that they were still going out because she saw them in her
development. I am so scared..."
August 10 - Allison says...
"What a beautiful page. My brother just lost his closest
friend last January and the whole family is still in mourning. Not a day
goes by when Zach is not in our hearts and minds. What a wonderful
tribute for your son!"
August 9 - 'spyyro' says...
"i was wondering if you knew about any email web pages
i could go to talk to someone about my feelings, and get help for them
before i go into a suicidal relapse. could you please email with some pages
or suggestions for someone i could email to get help?" (every
once in a while compassionatefriends.org
has a chat scheduled for people who have questions about suicide.
Be sure and check their schedule. Someday maybe JaredStory.com will sponsor
a chat room too.)
August 8 - ? says...
"A girl with the screen name JJLee211
Is seriously considering suicide. Everything I say doesn't work. I can't
win. Can you help her? Try to talk to her maybe?" (I
can always try...)
August 8 - Amy says...
"...I'm 15 years old and I don't care about anything
anymore. My parents spilt up about 3 years ago and every since then I have
been miserable. I don't talk to my dad anymore, every time I do he says
bad things about my mom and I end up feeling bad and crying. My mom has
since remarried. Before my mom and step-father got married I got in a really
big fight with my mom and I told her I didn't want to live anymore and
she just started yelling at me. Since then I haven't talked to her about
anything because I feel like she won't understand. Today I finally went
and talked to her. I told her that I didn't want to live here anymore and
that I wasn't happy and I didn't know why. I told her about my best friend
in the whole world on here thinking about moving to Australia and how I
would be heartbroken if he went. I told her that I feel like I have no
one who is just there for me...
and later... How
do I talk to my mom without her getting mad? The reason I don't talk to
my dad is because he never has anything good to say. My mom and him
don't talk anymore they would rather kill each other then look at each
other. He doesn't pay child support like he is suppose to... ...There's
times when i get bent out of shape when i shouldn't, ...Sometimes I feel
like I'm the one who is putting in all the effort and not getting any help
in return. There are times when i just want to say screw it..." (Never
stop trying to talk to your mom. Try and catch her when her stress
level is low and then she may be more willing to listen to your problems.)
August 2 - Susan says...
"My son also committed suicide - on December 18, 1997.
This poem was given to me by a childhood friend of Chad's. I would
like to purchase a book of Edgar Guest's poems - with this
poem in it. Do you know which book it is in. Thanks so
much for your help. (no - does anybody know?)
and later... "You are
so right - life certainly does deal us some blows. I only have two children
- now it seems I have terrible thoughts that something will happen to Katie.
Letting her be herself is very difficult."