Email from people who have been through, thought of, or are thinking about suicide, bullying, or depression.
In memory of
Jared High
..
SUICIDE...  BULLYING...  DEPRESSION...
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!
Other people's stories...  JUNE 2000

June 27 - Unknown says...
"i am feeling suicidal and i don't know what to do, it hurts so much." (don't give up on yourself!)

June 22 - Mary says...
"Hello Jared's Mom: Thank you for your beautiful website devoted to Jared's memory and honor.  I am Berek's mother.  He completed suicide 3 years, 3 months and 3 weeks ago at the age of 17.  I am attaching my story hoping you might be able to use it in your website or elsewhere.  Thank you for the love and caring you are extending to other.  Jared is very proud of you. Angel Blessings"

June 19 - Becky says...
"Hey!  I found your web page of Jared in my viewing on the internet today. Why was I under the 'suicide' section?  Within the past 2 weeks, I have come personally in contact with 3 teens who attempted (in the past 2 weeks) but were not successful.   Having lost a 25 year old brother to suicide 14 years ago, and a son who is now 19 1/2 who attempted suicide 18 months ago, each day I become more and more concerned for our society in general but our children in specific with this horrible rate of losing them.  Life can be wonderful and life can be awful.  Personally, I divorced 11 years ago to protect my children from the continual physical, verbal and emotional abuse.  I have to say that the emotional abuse continues as their father purposely chooses to ignore them and their needs to 'know' him, etc.   I feel for your loss that you experienced.  Have a close friend who lost her 19 year old son 2 years ago in July.  On his way to college and just decided he really wasn't going to go."

June 18 - Tina says...
"HELLO, I HAVE JUST VISITED YOUR SON JARED'S MEMORIAL AT THE WEBSITE OF http://www.1000deaths.com I ALSO LOST MY ONLY BROTHER TO SUICIDE.. HIS NAME IS DAVID A. DILL AND HIS PICTURE IS ALSO WITH JARED'S ON THAT WEBSITE. I WANTED TO EXPRESS MY DEEPEST  SYMPATHY TO YOU AND JARED'S FAMILY. I  CAN NOT FIND THE WORDS TO EXPRESS HOW MUCH SORROW I FEEL FOR YOU, WITH THE LOSS OF YOUR SWEET JARED.    MY PARENTS ALSO SUFFER. WHAT A BEAUTIFUL YOUNG MAN YOUR JARED WAS. I THINK THAT IS SUCH A BEAUTIFUL WEB PAGE IN HIS MEMORY. I HAVE ONE DAUGHTER WHO JUST TURNED 18 YEARS OLD THIS MONTH...  I CAN NOT IMAGINE WHAT KIND OF PAIN IT WOULD BE TO LOOSE HER. MY BROTHER WAS MUCH , MUCH, OLDER THAN YOUR SON, JARED.  DAVID, MY BROTHER WAS 34 YEARS OLD, NEVER MARRIED, NO CHILDREN. MY HEART ACHES TOO.  DAVID WAS 34 YEARS OLD WHEN HE TOOK HIS OWN LIFE ON THE 3RD OF JANUARY OF THIS NEW YEAR 2000.  MAY GOD BLESS YOU.  MY HEART FOLLOWS YOU, AND YOUR SWEET SON JARED.  JARED IS AMONG THE SWEETEST OF ANGELS IN HEAVEN.  I PRAY THAT YOU FIND COMFORT IN KNOWING THAT, OTHERS LIKE MYSELF CARE... GOD BLESS ...I HAVE ATTACHED MY BROTHER'S MEMORIAL... IF YOU WOULD CARE TO LIGHT A CANDLE FOR HIM IN HIS MEMORY, I WOULD BE HONORED. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO EMAIL ME AT ANYTIME OKAY ... SHALOM AND LOVE IN CHRIST.  ...A SURVIVOR OF A LOVED ONE LOST TO SUICIDE..."

June 17 - Bryan says...
"I read our story about our son. im sorry to hear. I tried killing myself today cause my girl has to go away, but when i did it i didn't do it right. But then my mom would suffer and all my friends and family. It wouldn't be fair to them. So after reading our sons story i thought about was it really worth it and i thought no i have more to look forward to. I'm really glad I read your story cause I don't know if I would be alive to write you this right now.  I thank you so much."

June 15 - blue says...
"Hi   I read your sons story... and was wondering if you could give me some advice about depression and suicide?  I've though about suicide before and the only thing i have done about it is take a bunch of pills and starve myself.  I'm not depressed all the time, just whenever i'm alone. I start thinking about bad things that have happened in my life and  things that are going on now, or this one special person i care deeply about and i start to cry and don't want to live anymore... is there any advice you can give me on what to do to make it stop???" (Advice is my specialty... and was freely given)

June 11 - Kathy says...
"My Daughter's best friend for 15 years had news this am that her boyfriend had hung himself at the age of 18. He was also a long time friend of my daughters. I have printed some of the poems and your letters in reference to your son's death in hope it will bring some comfort to my daughter and that she may share it with her friend whom has lost her finance. They had another friend age 16 hang himself last week.  The young man whom took his life this am left a 6 page letter which she has not got to read due to the police has it for now. It stated he had all he wonted but he could not go on.  I have the family in my prayers and your family also.  Thank you for your page on Jared."

June 9 - Marissa says...
"I'm very sorry about your son, i know how it feels.  One of my friends from work just committed suicide Monday night, i found out last night and it seems that i cant get out of this fog im in. it seems easy to blame it on ourselves because we think we should have realized something was wrong, is there any signs (read Suicide, A Teenage Epidemic) we should have looked for? last night it took a little while to hit me because i was with him sunday and he was fine, then killed himself the next day, i need to talk to someone but it seems as others don't understand. i tried to commit suicide three times in my life before, and now i believe it was a very selfish act, but it seems as if i know what he was going through. can u please give me some advice on what to do, why would someone so young do this to themselves?   i think im still in shock about everything and i wish i could cry, i think it would help a lot.  i heard he had a history of depression, and he found out he wasn't graduating, i thought that may be the reason, that's one of the reasons i tried to do it. but i just wish that he had come to me or someone so they could help  him, things could only get better if he had tried. i just wish i could have gotten that through to him.   i knew the signs of it, i just didn't see them in him. he was a very friendly person and i cant imagine... he was very popular at school so that's another reason why i cant imagine doing that to himself.  i just wish i could have said good-bye. i didn't really know his family, but he hung himself and his parents and grandmother found him in his room. I've had a young cousin die of cancer, but it didn't hurt this much because i knew it was going to happen and it was better than her suffering, but he had his whole life. i just don't know what to do. thank you so much."

June 7 - Andrea says...
"i am from a little town in saskatchewan called burstall. i am 16.  i read you story and i cried for a long time.  the reason being for this is because i myself am suicidal.  the only reason why i haven't done it is because i am afraid how hurt my friends and boy friend will be.  i don't really get along with my mom and dad.  i haven't ever really.  i get really upset and mad and depressed over the smallest things and then whenever i get mad i just want to die.  i never before really wanted to talk to my friends about it cuz i thought they would just think i was doing this for attention ...so i never told them.  ...mom has found knives in my room before and all she did was take them away and ask me why i had them and then i never answered and she yelled at me and never really cared.  she tells me she loves me but yet it doesn't really seem like it.  Dad tells me i have a sick mind and i always hurt others and he said that i only think about myself (which is not true, i don't care about myself anymore) i tried to take a bunch of pills and when i did my friends came over but it was too late.  they tried to convince me to go to the doctor and get my stomach pumped but i refused too.  then they said they were gonna tell my mom about it and then i got mad at them... so they let me be.  i never died but some days i worry that i still might.  i took nearly a half a bottle of tylenol and gravol and 9 advil... then i called poison control to see i was gonna die... they said i was... but i'm still alive... so i thought to myself maybe that's a sign that i'm not suppose die yet or something... so then i didn't try it for a while... i still ALWAYS think about and i really don't know why... i have a GREAT boy friend which i love a lot and lots of friends which i love and i still feel lonely and lost. ...i really need help.  i have been depressed for over a year now and its really getting worse...  :(  my boy friend ...told me he loved me a LOT and he would never be able to live without me.  he said that if i killed myself he would never be able to live with himself again... maybe this is what is stopping me but i don't know and i want help.... so if you could please help me out i would REALLY REALLY appreciate it."

June 5th - Dayna says...
"how did you not freak out whenever jared would ever do something like that?!  If i walk out of my bedroom without a bra on my mom freaks out! why cant my mom be like you?  I think i really knew where jared came from. I mean i never got beat up or anything but i am always sad . i am going in high school right in the fall.  What is really sad though is I tried to commit suicide twice. See my dad is really really sick. He has had like 17 operations in about 4 years. Sometimes i think that he wont make it. I really hope he stays on as long as he can though.  He survives on love, he always needs affection, but the i think if it is i don't want to get to close if i know i am going to lose him soon. I know it sounds mean but when i was 7 i lost my best friend( my brother) and me and him were so close and i still miss him. I guess i never actually got over the fact that he ws gone. Now that i see my dad like that makes me think if my brother . I think if the days when he was in the hospital and sick and just laying there suffering and it just kills me to think that something like that may happen to my dad (even though he already id mostly).  I really think that you are a really strong person for being able to survive and be strong after what you had to go through, and now that i think of it, your the exact kind of person that i look up too.

June 5 & 6 - Tina says...
"I found your web while looking for support groups online for suicide survivors.  My 16 year old son committed suicide two weeks ago, I was hoping to find a good support group online to help me try to deal with this, and to figure out how I go on without him. I appreciate your email, and I would appreciate knowing if you get the support group and chat room going.  And your right no one wants to talk about it, but they don't understand that I as a mother have to talk to someone and since I am divorced, I really don't have anyone to talk with about him.
and later - "Thank you for the advise, I will try it, thanks for any assistance you can give me."

June 4 - Melissa says...
"hi I'm a 13 female. I've been thinking about suicide. I don't really have friends that i could talk about this with and i really can't stand my mom and my dad is always working. I need to no if there are any sites that i could go to and chat with someone.  ok thx bye" (I referred Melissa to the About Suicide  site where there are lots of links that might help)

June 3 & 4 - Myrissa says...
"Thank you so much for posting this website it was very comforting to know that Im not the only one who has lost  a love one to suicide. I am 14 years old and I will be turning 15 on July 23. I lost my sister to suicide at the age of 12.  It was very hard and tragic to have her die.  I felt as if I wanted to also commit suicide.  We were very close, she was my life, but now I know differently. There is a reason to live and complete my dreams, just like she would have wanted. If you could I am doing a report on this very tragic story and if you could maybe e-mail me some other sites or information i would really appreciate it.  Thank you"
and later - "...my sister was 17 when she did it.  What triggered it was that she found out that her boyfriend that she was with for 7 years cheated on her with her best friend. .I have an older brother he is now 18 years old.  he took it pretty hard too.  he dropped out of school and just gave up on everything.  I don't know how to help him, it's really sad.  Well I'll hopefully talk to you again when you get back to me. Thanx again."

June 1 - Jacqui says...
"hello i would just like to say that i think your a very strong lady. i really respect you for having the courage to tell your story to the world. my brother killed himself in january of 1997 and i had to write a story about it for my class and it was the hardest thing for me to do. i was so scared when i had to read it in front of people. i really think you are a strong, brave women. thanks you for helping me deal with my loss.  sincerely"

 
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DISCLAIMER
The diagnosis and treatment of depression and other psychiatric disorders requires trained medical professionals.  The information provided above is to be used for educational purposes only.  It should NOT be used as a substitute for seeking professional care for the diagnosis and treatment of any mental/psychiatric disorders.  The books are recommended as a reference, not as medical advice.

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Brenda

Brenda's Websites:
BullyPolice.org
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TheWoundedChild.org