SUICIDE... BULLYING... DEPRESSION...
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!
Other people's stories... OCTOBER 2000
Oct. 26 - Angel says...
"I am a 15 year old female, I
have no one else to talk to or at least no one who takes me seriously,
Lately I have been really depressed and have been cutting my wrists, my
boyfriend saw them and counted 21 I try not to look at them no one else
has noticed them I am failing school and for some reason have began to
hate it. I have lost all of my friends except for maybe 2 but I hardly
ever talk to them. My family constantly tells me that they are
Oct. 25 - Heather says...
"I would be a year older than
Jared. I have been dealing with suicide and depression a lot for awhile
now, but no one knows. I don't know why I'm telling you this, because you
probably won't care..." (I always care.
You said that nobody knows that you are going through depression and thinking
Oct. 23 - Caitlin says...
"I am a senior in High School and was wondering if
it was at all possible for you to answer my question. After an individual
attempts suicide once, is it likely for that individual to attempt suicide
again? My best friend, who is also my cousin, tried to slit her wrists
w/a razor and safety pin (she dug a hole searching for veins... sorry for
the detail...) last Saturday and I'm extremely worried about her.
...I love her too much for her to hurt herself anymore. She is now
seeing a psychiatrist and takes a heavier dose of a different depression
medication. I was just wondering if there was a strong possibility
for another attempt. Thank you very much for your time and your knowledge.
and you must watch your cousin carefully until all her "triggers"
have been resolved through counseling. Your job is to give her unconditional
love and understanding.)
Oct. 23 - Charli (TX) says...
Oct. 21 - Constance says...
"I am very interested in Jared's story. Five years
ago, one of my brothers committed suicide. The devastation that I felt
at that time has not gone away. I keep thinking that there should
Oct. 21 - Dorinda says...
"I just read through your site and its deeply touched
me I started looking through sites on
Oct. 21 - Tara says...
"Hi I've cut myself and I never wanted to die but it just felt good. I've wanted to die once actually. Everyone thinks i am such a happy person inside but I'm not. I just want to stop existing all together. Just go to sleep and never wake up. Can you help me figure out some ways to not be so depressed all the time so that my friends wont be bothered by my thoughts of masochism?" (professional counselor, and possible medications or natural herbs such as St. John's Wort or SAM-e ...NOW! Tara, you can't expect help on the internet, talk to a live person who can help you work out your problems.)
Oct. 19 - Bret says...
"I am a 30 year old almost 31 year old man. Unfortunately
I understand why people commit suicide at least in most cases. ...My
family has a history of severe major depression, ...I was totally unaware
of this family medical issue till it happened to me. ...Horrible pains
in my neck, burning pains in my arms, severe headaches, flu like symptoms,
being in constant physical pain with no explaination, dropping 40 pounds
in 2 months, once going 10 nights without sleep, being ready to die then
finding out the physical pains were caused by severe depression,
...uncontrollable thoughts coming into my mind, to many thoughts, over
awareness of thought, racing thoughts, ruminating thoughts, emergency room
visits , hospitalizations, tranquilizers, antidepressants, anti psychotics,
anti inflammatories, antibiotics, ...I used to run from the car into
the psychiatric ward because when I shut off the radio the thoughts became
even more unbearable, in their racing nature. Severe depression is a hell
of unparalleled proportions. When I woke up on July 19 I was normal again
and have been fine ever since in the biological sense. ...My wife left
me a year later (depression is hard on marriages is an understatement)
...Jared had a horrible disease that took his life and it is no less biological
than cancer. ...when your own thoughts become your worst enemy you go into
a world that is absolutely terrifying, and there is no way out, ...I woudn't
wish it on anyone. As an experience I believe it is far worse than, cancer,
AIDS, heart disease ect. because they don't attack your thoughts, they
don't attack what makes you, ...Its weird but in many ways Im glad people
always ask why, following a suicide because it means they haven't gotten
the disease themselves or they would never ask those questions because
they would know why.
Oct. 19 - Kaylee says...
"hey i thank you for having this site my sister committed suicide last moth and it has been tough on mom and dad... so today i went online to look up stuff online and now i realize it happens to more than one family. thank you."
Oct. 17 - Anne says...
"I was at your site tonight, I am giving a talk about suicide to my class mates in my english class. We just read a story about suicide and almost 2 years ago one of our classmates committed suicide and we are still thinking of him. Any ways, I wanted to write and say how much I liked your site and it really touched me. When I first saw the picture of Jared I almost cried, he was so young. I just wanted to ask you a question though and if it is wrong for me to do so please just say so and I will understand, I don't mean to sound disrespectful. But I read most of the site and I didn't find anywhere that explained why Jared committed suicide. I was just wondering why he decided to leave this world. I am very sorry for you loss and I hope you are doing better. God bless!" (Jared's depression "trigger" was an assault inside his Middle School by a bully.)
Oct. 16 - a student says...
"hi you don't know me but i had to do a presentation in college about suicide. as i came across this page it made me think allot. i m not suicidal or anything but on september 25th of this year one of my class mates took his life away. he was also depressed and i guess the big part was actually to tell his parents. it was very sad to me what had happened since we had all went to school together. it made me open my eyes to reality. i had never expected to come that close to death. when i went to his wake i was very sad and the whole shocking thing is is that I'd never knew that he was like that. i was not the closest thing to him i mean i just saw him in school, but just the fact that i knew him was scary..." (It's sad, but sometime in our life we will all be touched by suicide.)
Oct. 16 - Criselda says...
"hi. im sorry to hear about your loss. im doing a research
paper about suicide. and i wants to ask if you don't mind, some questions.
how did he die? why did he do it? how did you feel? and do you think that
suicide is an individual right? well i am terribly sorry for you loss and
i hope you can help me. but if you cant its okay. (in
my opinion, no one who is thinking about suicide is in their right mind,
they are depressed. Just like cancer is not an individual right neither
would suicide caused from depression be a individual right.)
Oct. 16 - Teresa says...
"...Last Friday a young man of 24 from my home town committed suicide and I am still reeling from the shock. We have very close connections with this family and my heart goes out to them at this time. His mother is totally heartbroken and I would like to help in some way. I was looking through your list of books - recommend reading and I was interested in the book: Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some Things we Don't Know. I was interested to hear you say that you would like to have read this from the beginning. I phoned a very big bookshop here in Dublin, Ireland but they didn't have it in stock or it wasn't listed. Would you know of any way that I could get a copy or would you have any other recommendations. (The book you asked for, Suicide, Some things we know... is a small spiritual book to help answer questions about how God would respond to suicide and how we should be careful not to judge the act of suicide. You can find it on the internet at http://www.deseretbook.com It doesn't cost much, $5 or 6 dollars. I don't know how hard that would be in Ireland. Also, until you can get your friend a book, feel free to copy off the section you came from in JaredStory.com called, Where do those who die by suicide go? and give it to her. I've had many people of all faiths tell me that this article really helped them a lot. It might be easier to get the book by Dr Quinnett, Suicide, The Forever Decision. Although this is not a spiritual book and is written for the suicidal person, this was the 2nd best book I read because it gave me understanding into my son's depression and his mind.)
Oct. 15 - Teri says...
"I'm 16 years old and have been
diagnosed with depression for a year and half. I have attempted suicide
more times then I can count sometimes with people not even knowing it.
Each time I read Jared's story or even think about what I have done makes
me cry. I don't
Oct. 15 - Gabe says...
"I am doing a report for class
on teenage suicide for my college writing class, which during my AOL search
led me to your site. I would first like to say that I do not consider
myself depressed and I am not considering suicide, I know that I have good
friends and family who care about me and love me, and I also have a girlfriend
who am very much in love with and I know she feels the same for me.
At this point in my life I am very happy with myself and my loved ones
and all of my experiences in life. However I was looking over some
things to look for in someone who might commit suicide and I have a question
for you. Sometimes, but not too often if I get stressed out, such
as at work or college, I would think that I don't want to deal with it.
A few years ago I have used substances, but I have long since quit.
I was just wondering if that meant anything. As I said before I have
never attempted suicide and I most definitely do not want to. I have
had friends that have felt this way before, and it seems to me that this
is normal, I was just wondering if it is. If you could please email
me with a reply I would greatly appreciate it..." (Everyone
has rough spots in their life that can trigger depression, but not everyone
will have depression. It's normal to have the ups and downs in life
and how you deal with your problems
Oct. 14 - Tara says...
"This monday coming up, I will be having a meeting with old friends, and my best friends mom. I will be reading out loud how i feel and discuss how I'm feeling since my best friend Renata killed herself 2 years ago on Oct. 21st . I needed some help, how to organize what I wanted to say, what I should say, and wanted to find some inspirational story to close with. I didn't think i'd be able to open this wound again and really talk from my heart. I wanted to continue feeling cold about it all, and not really, truly feel anything. I came across your web site, and I finished my search. You had a lot of good things written on here that inspired me to open my heart and write. I just wanted to let you know that. I'm thankful for your site, and will continue to visit it. I struggle myself with bad thoughts sometimes, and this site made me get a grasp on what is actually good in the world and ways to daily make it better. By being kind to others, and finding meaning with those that are around me already... and most importantly being grateful for all I have. I thank you, for giving me a positive and hopeful day in my life..."
Oct. 13 - "Sebdesed" says...
"i lost one of my close friends to suicide and it ripped me to pieces because it felt like i didn't do my job as a friend and if i was there for her more it wouldn't of happened probably and it was horrible. What made me mad most is that they blamed it on the music she listened to when it was emotional instead. I know it had nothing to do with music." (When people are in pain and grief any excuse, like bad music, will do. In time, however, most parents and friends discover that their loved one suffered from depression.)
Oct. 11 - Lindsay says...
"I am 16 years old and I am desperately trying to make it through high school. I stumbled upon your page when I was doing a research paper on teenage suicide. Sometime last year I tried to commit suicide with a gun. The bullet had skipped and the gun never went off... from that second on I have never been the same. Being a teenager is one of the hardest things in the world, and I am so sorry for your loss and all that you have been through. I almost lost a boyfriend to suicide as well and I made him read Jared's page, and asked him if he wanted to make his mother go through the same horrible thing that you had to, he and I are both doing fine... All my love and prayers for you, Jared, and your family..." (You must have a purpose unfulfilled, a reason for living. I hope you find it and find happiness)
Oct. 9 - Amy says...
"I am doing a research paper
on teenage suicide for school. Your article made me cry. I could relate
to what you said, not totally understand but relate in a way. My dad committed
Oct. 6 - Jay says...
"...i tried suicide at least 10 times in the last um
*thinks* 9 years. i wouldn't say i'm so depressed in the last 9 months.
i focused my depression into music. i still don't consider myself
a great person and i haven't even really learnt to live (i'm 21) but i
seem content in my lil world of "nothing" ...my dad beat me until i was
17, then i got kicked out. and i now live with my girl, her son and my
dog. my dad would just loose his temper saying everything was my
fault yadayada. he spent alot of time saying he wished i was dead,
i was useless bababa you start to believe it after time i guess.
i got abused at school, i know everybody has their dose of bullying, but
i'm serious this was big stuff. i saw many shrink over my "behavior" problems
and my depression, but i swear all 10 did nothing at all, and that's with
me trying. ...In fall of 1998 i began cutting, i was really bad,
i was so depressed and to this day we didn't even know why. i still
think bout suicide but then i talk. my gf forces it out of me, it's one
way i guess. nobody noticed my signs, i guess they don't with most.
Oct. 1 - anonymous says...
"Most of these stories I am reading are how the survivor
feels. What about what the suicidal person felt? Why do you think
they killed themselves? Because no one cared about how THEY felt! That
is why they died, no one listened, no one seemed to care until it was too
late. Now all of the focus is on the survivors and how they feel at this
time of loss. The deceased lost a lot more before they died. I am in no
way trying to be mean, I am just saying how I feel. No one listens. If
they did, no one would feel suicidal.
Jared's Life &
About Bullying &
About The Lawsuit
Parent's & Kids
Bullycide in America:
Moms Speak Out!
On E-Book for $ 9.90
The Meaning of Life
Jared's Sister says:
Laughter is Healing
About Jared's Mom