Moms Speak Out!

"Bullycide in America"


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Moms Speak Out!

Bullycide in America: Moms Speak Out about the bullying/suicide connection
Bully Police USA


Brenda High & Judge Alex

A Special on Bullying - On FOX

Part 2 - February 18, 2011




     This is not a book about blame or guilt, although it may certainly spark that kind of discussion. This is not a book about getting even or setting the record straight, although it may do that as well.  And, this is not a book for clinicians, although it will offer some scientific data and educational resources.

     This is a book of real stories about real kids. Kids who took their own lives because they thought it was their only way out of a hopeless situation.  It is about the tragic choices they made in an effort to end the pain - when they believed there was no other solution.

     It is told by mothers who are willing to share their own personal pain as they watched their children suffer and struggle. It is about their own efforts to advocate for their children while they continue to deal with their own devastating loss and the aftermath of bullycide...


     Judy M. Kuczynski, MS

Mother of a bullied child, Tina, who died in a car accident in 1998
President of Bully Police USA, www.BullyPolice.org


Like Thieves In The Night
Brandon’s Story - “Bullies Who Kill”

Brandon Chris Swartwood - 2/21/82 – 12/16/00


“While you are going through the system

to fight for your child's rights,
your child is the one going into the battlefield
…and today could be the day that he or she is fatally wounded.”

Brandon's mom, Cathy Swartwood Mitchell


The Aftermath
...For several years, I tried to work. I had no focus, no energy and enough anger to do a mass killing of those responsible. Thank God, I had enough maturity, morals and maintained enough sanity, barely, to refrain from seeking revenge.  I say “barely” on the sanity thing because I was crazy with grief and anger. 

...So there I sat, for the first time in my life, in jail. I had a prescription bottle of pills in my jean jacket. I was an emotional wreck. I emptied the entire bottle into my hand as I contemplated my situation.  ~Cathy



Fighting The System
Jared’s Story - "The scars never go away"

Jared Benjamin High - 09/23/85 – 09/29/98


“It’s your child.  You must fight for him or her.  No one cares
like a parent cares...a parent is motivated by love.”

Jared's mom, Brenda High

Looking back – Looking forward   (10 Steps to Stop Bullying)
Put yourself into the shoes of a victim of bullying.  Every day a child is bullied is an eternity to them.  We worry about terrorists coming into our country and doing us harm.  A victim of bullying walks into their school each day knowing their terrorist could strike any moment and destroy their wounded spirit again, and again. How long can a child play on the freeway dodging cars before the experience finally becomes too much and they go over the edge?  ~Brenda

Jared's Story, Brenda's Story and Jared's Sister's Story was featured on the

E! Network, first aired on April 21, 2010 - E! Investigates: Bullying


Girl to Girl Bullying
Corinne’s Story - “Just Go Home and Kill Yourself”

Corinne Wilson  - 09/30/91 – 10/06/04 


“Don’t be afraid of the school, the teachers or administrators. 
You must remember they work for you, and your children. 
If you don’t stand up for your child, who will?”

Corinne's mom, Rochelle Sides


Relational Aggression – Girl to Girl Bullying Examined
...It started slowly with rumors, secrets and exclusion; it progressed to harassment and violence.  Like most victims of relational aggression, Corinne blamed herself for her bully’s behavior.  She internalized her pain and kept the bullying to herself in an attempt to maintain a relationship with her bullies, as many girls do.  As a result, it damaged her self-esteem and caused severe depression, which ultimately led to Corinne taking her life.    ~Rochelle



Hazing – Another Form Of Bullying

Matt’s Story - “Rite of Passage"

Matthew Alexander Epling – 2/10/88 – 7/16/02


“Don't be fooled. Bullying doesn't have to be repeated, or take place 

over a period of time.  Each child is different. Even one traumatic

instance can cripple a young mind into a well of despair.”

Matt's mom, Tammy Epling

A Personal How-To Guide To Effecting Change
Hazing has a few different components than bullying, but at the core, they are both about “power and control”.  One person has power and control, one person does not.  Bullying, harassment, and hazing - they are all sick twisted cousins. It is sometimes hard to define when hazing is an assault and when repeated hazing became bullying. In order to make a wider base we wanted to incorporate all of the aspects of bullying, harassment and hazing together into a comprehensive anti bullying plan.   ~Tammy & Kevin Epling


What It Feels Like

April’s Story - “8 Months to Bullycide”

April Himes -  4/27/86 – 2/14/00


“Bullies WILL cause depression and depression is the

number one cause of suicide.  The signs are there – be aware!”

April's mom, Summer Clinton

The Pain of Depression - What It Feels Like
A person that takes his/her life by suicide is not thinking of themselves or anyone else. A depressed and suicidal person is not thinking - the brain is not functioning well enough to have any real thoughts. There are only feelings. It's all about emotions. You feel sad, upset, unloved, disparity, hopeless, helpless, alone, gloomy, weighted down and rejection. ~Summer



Recipe for a Disaster

Kristina’s Story - “Nice Girls Finish Last Too”

Kristina Arielle Calco - 12/26/89 – 12/4/05


“If you think something is wrong, something is probably wrong.
Go with your gut feelings.”

Michelle Calco

Recipe for a Disaster: Bullying to Depression, Depression to Suicide
Take one part shy & sensitive, impressionable, naïve young girl and add a lack of self-esteem. Slowly stir in puberty.  Add typical teenage pressures including friends, grades, sports, extracurricular activities and being perpetually on Instant Chat.  Add a daily dose of teasing, ridicule and torment by a group of boys and then garnish with what turns out to be a sexually charged and romantic online relationship with a boy from another high school.  Add to this a seeming inability for intervention in any way, shape or form. Shake well and then let sit.  ~Michelle


Death by Computer

Jeffrey’s Story - "Sixth out of Seven,

Number-One Son, Right-hand Man"

Jeffrey Scott Johnston - 12/21/89 – 6/29/05

“A bully doesn’t have to be eye to eye to bully someone. 

Sometimes he or she gets into cyberspace,

and then there’s no place to hide from their torment.”

Debbie Johnston


Special submissions

The New Wave: A Warning about Cyberbullying

The problem of cyberbullying is compounded by the very nature of its existence in the electronic world, where words can have a shelf life of months, years, and even decades. The tradition of home as a refuge from bullies on the school playground is over. The Internet is a new playground, and there are no off hours.  ~Adrianna Sgarlata Schweizer, BPUSA Media Director, NYC – Miss Virginia 2006

Judging the Methods of Suicide

I didn’t want to write this chapter, but I believe it needs to be written.  There will be those who will read these stories and almost certainly pass judgment on three of the mothers in this book based on one thing, the method of suicide our children chose... “JUDGE not, that ye be not judged.  For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again..."  Matt. 7:1  ~Brenda High


The Influences of the Media on Bullying

Thirty murders. Forty beatings. Does this sound like figures from a police report? No, unfortunately they are the number of violent acts a group of sixth-graders observed while watching one hour of prime-time television. ...As parents and members of a community, we constantly ask our selves, how does TV and film affect our children?  We know that TV has become increasingly more violent and graphic. How much has it increased?  ~Rochelle Sides


Shame and Blame–The Code of Silence

...Shame is attached to certain acts and attitudes. Among those postures is appearing to be a victim in any way. This is the same attitude that holds victims responsible in some way for being raped. When victims believe that no one can protect them from retaliation they see no reason to tell or report incidents committed against them. Victims become isolated when they believe that nothing can be done to change their situation. They become isolated, depressed, and filled with despair.   ~Judy Kuczynski



Recommended Resources

A little about the Contributors to Bullycide in America - Contributors

Looking for a Speaker or Consultant? Go to the Speaker's page

The Readings – “Wanda’s Song” – lyrics

THE PROCLAMATION - Bullycide Awareness Day


    Teachers - Learn how to raise awareness about the serious issue of bullying

    School Administrators - As a leader, you create the culture for a safe environment

    Parents - Learn what to watch for and how to stop your child from being bullied

    Grandparents - Parenting never ends ~ You too can make a difference

    Students - You're the reason for this book!

    Media - You have the ability to influence the public perception on bullying

    Mental Health Professionals - See the connections between bullying and suicide

    Physicians - You can diagnose depression in your clients and find the triggers

    Program Directors/Children - Learn valuable resources for helping victims

    Lawmakers - Learn the importance of protecting this country's youngest citizens

    Everyone - The lessons and warnings in this book may save a precious life


After reading the book or e-book, "Bullycide in America: Moms speak out about the bullying/suicide connection", if you are not completely satisfied that this book or e-book could make  a difference for you or your loved one - If your heart was not changed in any way - If you didn't learn anything that can help you or someone you love, than feel free to ask for your money back within 30 days, and and keep any bonuses you may have received.