In memory of
Jared High

SECOND  15  SUGGESTIONS FOR
DEALING WITH GRIEF 
OR BEING A SURVIVOR

VolunteerHospitals need compassionate and understanding help. Who can understand another person's pain better than one who has experienced it himself or has seen a loved one go through it.  Don't be afraid to cry with someone that needs to cry to someone. We need each other, and we heal better from our pain when serving others because we don't think of our problems. 

Start a safety program. I recently heard a woman on television talking about her child drowning in an unsafe area of a river. She has started a safety program to inform people of the hazards of some river area's and posted signs warning of the hazards. She found a project that may save other parents from loosing a child on an unsafe river. 

Donate money to help someone else with their project. Memorials can be made to just about any cause you can think of. A women in our area is helping to raise the funds for a playground, because her child enjoyed spending time in fun places, like playgrounds. 

Endowment Funds and Scholarships. Many universities and their students could use financial help. A person could give, in their loved ones name, directly to the university of their choice in the form of an endowment, or set up a scholarship fund in your child's name through the university. 

Become a "Santa" for a child in need. We used the money we would of spent on Jared for Christmas and bought presents for other children. We received the joy and satisfaction of giving to children in need, and we know the little children who received the presents were delighted. 

Find a way to preserve your loved one's memory though their possessions. I've heard of a loved one's shoe being made into a planter or book stops. What a clever idea. Be creative! 

Make a quilt out of your child's clothes. I have put aside Jared's T-shirts because when I have time I will make a quilt out of them. 

Make a quilt out of your child's sheets.   Now that's a strange one, unless, of course, your child had baseball sheets, like mine did. Hey, you can make a quilt out of just about anything, if there's enough of it. Now that I think about it, I think I'll make one side of the quilt with T-shirts and one side with sheets. How fun! 

Do photo book projects. Cover every aspect of your child's life. And if you don't have a photo of your child doing something they enjoyed, draw one yourself or cut one out of a magazine. Have fun doing your photo books. There are many places you can go for help and ideas. Creative Memories, a home business that specializes in making creative photo Albums, has classes that you can attend to help you create the perfect memorials for your loved one. And on the web, check out Keeping Memories Alive , specializing in scrapbook supplies. Don't forget the silly homework papers and little awards your child brought home. All these little "treasures" that you find around the house as you spring clean can go into a little project, some time or other. 

Do a deep clean on your house.  Now that sounds really strange. But I find that cleaning really can be therapy when I'm feeling a bit down.  And just when you don't expect it you find something that belonged to your child and WOW you are so delighted, like you found a nugget of gold.  I found a toy sheriff's badge with Jared's name on it when cleaning out a living room desk. What beautiful memories that brought me. I can just imagine my little Jared as a five year old pretending to be a cowboy with his sheriff's badge of honor, usually upside down, on his plaid shirt. 

Attend a Compassionate Friends (TCF) Chapter - I add this separately because in most cases, you will be able to connect up with this group easier. There are more TCF Chapters than SOS groups. Because of this, there are more people in the Chapter to communicate with. You will find, after attending TCF, that it doesn't matter how or what caused your child's death, the loss of your child left a big hole in your heart , just like everyone else in the group. Compassion and understanding for others will help you deal with your own loss. 

Go for a walk - Take your dog if you've got one and enjoy some deep breathing as you hike a trail. I wanted to keep myself healthy, for myself and the other members of our family so I continued to walk in the morning at our local mall. And I sometimes cried as I walked, but it was OK, I felt better from both the crying and the walking. 

Give a friend a call. Think of a person who makes you happy and pick up the phone. A listening ear and grief, is like chicken soup and the flu, everyone always seems to feel better after having it.

Take a warm, long bath. This one is easy but no one ever wants to take the time. When a person is feeling sad, a little time is a small investment for a feeling of peacefulness. Water and warmth create peacefulness, after all, we spent nine months in our mother's womb in these same conditions. My babies all seemed to enjoy themselves, (even if I wasn't). 

Write your child's life history.  Sit down as a family and talk about your loved one and the fun things you did together, and if your child was very young (a small baby) when they went to heaven, include the months in pregnancy. I can remember how Jared was especially active, like he was playing basketball or jumping on a trampoline or something. The memories of your loved one deserve to be remembered by your grandchildren.

Dealing with Grief or being a survivor

GO TO THE FIRST 15  SUGGESTIONS
GO TO THE SECOND 15  SUGGESTIONS

The Power of Forgiveness

A Flexible, Living Food Diet
..

SOME LINKS THAT TELL JARED'S STORY

Birth, Bunjie Jumping, and On The Move
Jared in High School (?) and "Swim Kitty Swim"
Cats - and The Dog Who Thinks He's a Cat
Jared's LDS Church Talk - "Covering all the Bases"
Dirt cake recipe' - Jared's favorite worm cake
Building a Tree House and The Fort in the Dungeon
Jared and The Skittles War

Keep the BALANCE in your life!
SPIRIT>MIND>BODY>FAMILY>FINANCES>SOCIETY

Map Page

Jared's Life &

Friends & Family 


About Bullying &
Bullying Stories

About Bullycide 

About The Lawsuit

Everything you need to know about Bullying
STOP THE
BULLYING!
BullyPolice
E-Book:
Parent's & Kids
Only $4.95.


About Depression

Dealing With Grief

'Been There, Done That'


About Suicide
THINKING of SUICIDE?
800-999-9999

Moms Speak Out!
Bullycide in America:
Moms Speak Out!
On E-Book for $ 9.90


The Meaning of Life

My gift to you


 A HEALTHY BALANCE
Spirit
Mind
Body
Family
Finances
Society

Vip Links


Jared's Sister says:
Laughter is Healing

About Jared's Mom

Brenda's Web Page

About Contacting
Brenda

Brenda's Websites:
BullyPolice.org
BullyPolice.com
Bullycide.org
HeroesintheCrowd.com
TheWoundedChild.org