SUICIDE... BULLYING... DEPRESSION...
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!
Other people's stories... NOVEMBER 2000 - MARCH 2001
Mar. 30 - Stacie says...
"Your son seemed like a beautiful person. His face is so angelic and cute in his pictures. He truly was beautifull. I am so sorry for your loss. Words cannot express what I should say, anything I write may seem patronizing as I have never felt the pain you have felt and feel. My heart melts for you and I send so much warmth, peace and happiness your way. Jared seemed like he would have been a wonderfull person to meet. I am sorry I will never have that chance. ...It just seems so un-real and uncomprehendable, I just cannot understand. I struggle with depression myself and have recently went on Paxil. Thank you for your bravery in sharing your story." (...I wish you well Stacie. Life does not always give us the easy path to follow but, in due time, as we experience all the beautiful events along the path, it becomes worth the travel.)
Mar. 26 - "Beccababe" says...
"...i am doing a violence awareness problem in my school. we are
reading a different story every morning to the school and we think jared's
story would make kids think twice about bullying..." (Yes,
it seems like either the bullies are doing the killing or the victims of
bullies are doing the
Mar. 20 - Rachel says...
"I live in Oregon, and for my local newspaper i have been asked to
write an article on teenage suicide, from the perspective of both the victim
and the people who's lives were tragically altered by the victim's actions.
I have been sweeping the web for appropriate material and found the usual
array of statistics, facts and the occasional porn site (they can't be
avoided). Then i came to Jaredstory.com. I cannot even begin
to understand what you are feeling, since i have never lost anyone to suicide,
but i was astounded by the depth of your site, and by your willingness
to help people, no matter how blunt their questions are. The concept
of suicide and depression is something that frightens me to no end, since
so many suicide victim's are smart, successful, and appear to be living
pleasant lives. ...i would like to use jared's story as an anecdote
in my article, to bring home the realization that hit me as i read your
web page--that even the nicest, most talented, together people you know
are capable of suicide. ...I cannot understand your loss, but i do
sympathize." (I think
that it's wonderful that you would like to use JaredStory.com in your article.
Anything you can do to help prevent suicide will give me, and a lot of
healing parents, a great deal of satisfaction. ...If there is anything
you can teach others, and especially parents with your article, tell them
about the triggers
of depression. People rarely wake up in the morning and say,
"oh, like I'm depressed today". Something happens to trigger that
depression. A car accident, lost a job, loved one died,
Mar 18 - Jenquoi says...
"...I cried and cried when I read about your son Jared..."
Mar 15 - From the Harassment Survey...
"My principle has heard lies or rumors from another student. He does
not confront both of us or just flat out talk about it with me. I'm just
a 10th grade girl who knows of much worst in our school. He calls
me A drug user. And he has taken privileges away from me such as using
the bathroom or any sorts of hall passes. He out of no where searches my
coat and locker and is constantly having me in his office. the other
day he was talking to me and grabbed my hand. This is just a big misunderstanding
for him about me, which is really hurting me and my
Mar. 14 - Brenda says...
"As a Principal's Secretary in an Elementary School where we have zero tolerance for harassment, I know the importance of taking children seriously. I appreciate you spreading the word to inform others on what to do if their child is being harassed. Parents need to be advocates for their children, many of them just don't know what to do!"
Mar. 10 - Bonnie says...
"First, I am so sorry for the loss which led you to create the web site for Jared, but so grateful for the compassionate comfort you are giving to so many. Your list of suggestions for dealing with grief is wonderful, and we'd like to share it with our families who have suffered a loss. Is that okay?"
Bonnie Carroll(...That would be fine to use "Dealing with Grief" to help members of www.taps.org. We are all in this world together and we all have a duty to help each other get through life the best we know how. Maybe some of your members might email me and tell me ways they are dealing with their loss. I plan to add another 10 more suggestions within the next few months and I'd be glad to add their ideas...)
Mar. 7 - Brad says...
"Tonight your site really touched me. I was simply looking for a
cake recipe for my wife and our young kids. Jared looks similar to
my five year old boy; kind, smart, and loving. Each and every day I am
thankful for my boys as they are a gift from God. So sweet and perfect.
Mar. 6 - The (Harassment) Survey says...
"I have told principals and counselor and the most has been done is that they have been kicked off the bus for 1 day... This just made matters worse... I can't even walk down the halls without someone yelling vulgar language at me" (check out, Been Harassed in School, for tips on what really works on bullies)
Mar. 2 - Aime says...
"...i am really sorry about your son. i am
16 years old and a sophomore at high school and have had a lot of experiences
with depression and suicide. i am doing a sophomore paper that's due in
may and i was wondering if you could tell me the story about your son and
if you could tell me all you know about depression it would help me a lot
with this project" (Thank
you for your kind words. There are a few good places to go on my
page to find out about Depression (http://www.jaredstory.com/depression.html)
and Suicide (http://www.jaredstory.com/suicide.html).
Be sure and read the new article I put on my page last night about Harassment
in Schools because it directly relates to Jared. His life changed
after being Assaulted
inside his Middle School by a bully. I wish you well on your project and
hope that you can help make a difference for someone else who is suffering
with depression and thoughts of suicide.)
Feb. 21 - Johnny says...
Dare to take charge of this day.
Feb. 12 - A Parent says...
(This Father filled out the Parent - Notice of Harassment form and asked for help but didn't leave an e-mail address for a response. His child has, and still is being harassed in her public school. School Officials, and a counselor, have been notified but the harassment continues.)
Comments: "I would like to have some advise about this case, my wife and my other daughter are suffering emotionally. We don't know what to do. They ask too many questions, they even sent the cops to my apartment without permission or a least to let me know what's is going on. Please we need your help." (Document everything - Write multiple letters to School Board Members, the Superintendent, The Principal of the school and your State Representatives. Demand action! Also, consider calling a lawyer... and don't believe that school officials care about your child. They don't, unless you are rich. I speak from experience. After Jared was assaulted we tried to handle everything without the help of a lawyer. Big Mistake! Now Jared is dead because of that assault, and how the school district handled everything.)
Feb. 2 - Robert says...
Jan. 28 - Shaun says...
"...I am 15 years old and I am a sophomore in high school. I am currently doing a report on teen suicide and the Story of you son interested me. He would be about my age now, i was born September 26th, 1985. I feel a connection somehow, and i would like to know if possible, how he committed suicide, I cannot find it on your website. I would greatly appreciate any feedback if you have the time." (I don't talk much about "how" Jared died because I want people to know how Jared lived. I worry that young people might think that Jared's method of dying is acceptable to them also. But, I will satisfy your curiosity and tell you that Jared used a gun to die with. The real killer, however, wasn't the gun but the depression that caused him to do it. That's why I try to tell people who visit my site to check out the triggers, sign's of depression and signs of suicide so they can be educated to help others, or themselves. Yup, you would be about the same age as Jared. I hope you are as happy as Jared was. Jared only changed, was "triggered", after he was assaulted inside his Middle School by a bully. He became depressed and had trouble sleeping after that...)
Jan. 18 - Ashley (16 yrs old) says...
"I am so sorry for your loss. I almost did the same. I send you my love..." (I'm glad you are okay. I hope JaredStory.com helped you out. If you will remember that others love you like we loved Jared you can get through the tough times in life.)
Jan. 5 - Evan says...
"I think you have created a wonderful web site to honor Jared's memory by trying to steer those contemplating suicide toward getting help, and by comforting those whose lives have been impacted by suicide. ...I really enjoyed the page called "A Heavenly Manifestation" about the vision given to Heber Q. Hale..."
Jan. 4 - Dara says...
"I would like to thank you. Your page helped me very much. For a research project that I'm doing in school, I chose teenage behavioral sciences, and my main project is on teenage suicide. This page, although extremely sad, was resourceful and informative. I had no idea how close suicide hit home until a year ago, when I briefly considered it. Thank you so much! I have put this page on my Favorites list." (Thank you for your kind comments about my website in honor of Jared. I hope you do well on your research project. I think everyone thinks about suicide at some time in life. Thankfully we get through it with our common sense intact. In the case of Depression and Suicide thoughts, common sense is missing. That's what happened to Jared... he was depressed. The sad thing about this, is that we didn't know he was suffering from depression or we would of got him into see a psychologist. I think most parents don't think their kids can get depression at such a young age. ...Go for the A!!!)
Dec. 21 - Jan says...
"I came across Jared's website and I just have to tell you what a wonderful, loving Mother you are and what an exceptional, beautiful Son Jared is. God bless you and now I am another person who has met and will remember Jared! Thank you!"
Dec. 7 - from the Harassment survey...
"I was harassed in junior high school. The people who harassed me have since become drug addicts, promiscuous, or have dropped out of school. I have since developed my own crowd, and I am considered to be very popular. But I use my popularity to help the people who get teased and assaulted. I can tell all of you that I put a stop to harassment at my school. And if anyone tries to harass someone I step in and put a stop to it. I am currently working on a documentary in my English Trans class. I have decided to base my documentary on high school cliques. My documentary is going to be shown throughout my school. I am going to bring it to everyone's attention that what they are saying to people hurts, and I am going to attempt to open their eyes past having a good laugh and maybe make them all realize how they are making people feel. Thank You and don't let "THEM" bring you down, there are people out there whom love you very much." (I am very proud of you for your work, and I know you will make a difference!)
Nov. 30 - Brittany says...
"...a 15 year old from Mount Desert Island, in Southwest Harbor, ME. I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions for a civic project. ...i would appreciate it." (questions and answers)
Nov. 29 - Stephanie says...
"i don't know if u remember me but i was the one with the suicide
report. i just wanted to tell you that we have not got back our reports
yet, but i'm happy to tell you that i did very well, ...and that
i'm still planning to update you when i get it back. thanks for the luck!"
Nov. 26 - Amy says...
"I found your website on a search that I was performing at yahoo.com. I found it so interesting and informative and the work that you put forth in this website is just tremendous. I hope that you are not offended by my telling you this, but I only felt it right that I should. I am a junior nursing student at Saint Francis College of Pennsylvania and currently I am enrolled in a Thanatology class (the study of Death and Dying). As our final assignment, we were to write a term paper on an aspect dealing with death and how it is dealt with or should be dealt with in the Nursing profession. I included in my paper information on Jared and his depression and of his untimely death. Your son sounds so amazing and I am deeply sorry that you had to endure such pain and also that he had to endure pain. I just wanted to tell you "thanks" for such a great, informative website, and also to wish you luck in your future. You, Jared, and your entire family are included in my prayers. Peace and goodness to you" (You will make a wonderful nurse! Thank you for your kind comments.)
Nov. 26 - "Angel" says...
"...i cant find the Section where it talks about his (Jared's) Death..." (...Jared died by suicide on September 29th 1998. He was 13 and 6 days old. His depression was triggered by an assault inside his Middle School by a bully. I don't get into a lot of detail about Jared's death because it still hurts inside, and besides, I feel his life is more interesting to write about rather than his death.)
Nov. 20 - Chris says...
"HAPPY THANKSGIVING, 2000 - I am so grateful and blessed to have so many special people touch my life and leave their precious footprints on my heart. THANK YOU & MAY GOD BLESS YOU ON THIS THANKSGIVING DAY AND THROUGHOUT THE HOLIDAY SEASON & NEW YEAR... 2001... (can you believe it?) ...HUGS TO YOU..." (Thanks Chris, I'm also thankful to have special friends like you in my life. I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving too.)
Nov. 18 - Christine says...
"I admire you immensely Brenda for the effort and time you have put into helping children and I have encouraged my daughter to email all her friends with your site. They really need to know there are a lot of scared kids out there and how much they need to open their hearts to God and realize that they are safe in His love. I am so pleased your site shows the importance of balance in life - body, mind and, most importantly, spirit."
Nov. 18 - Amy says...
"i'm from california i'm doing a research paper on teen suicide and i cross the page you made for your sons death. i was wondering if i could get info on the type of background he had or what would of made him do it. if you could please e-mail me some kind of info i would greatly appreciate." (See answer to Angel, November 26th - Jared was a very normal boy, a church goer and well liked at school. Read about his life -> Jared's Life)
Nov. 14 - Matt says...
"...I am a criminal justice major at Weber State University. I am doing a semester project on setting up a grief center for suicide victims. If you have any information that could help me on this I would greatly appreciate it." (That's wonderful! The first place you should go is to the local Chaplaincy group and see if they have a local chapter of S.O.S., Survivor's Of Suicide and see how they have set up their organization. You should also attend a couple of meetings of the group, The Compassionate Friends. Although they don't deal with just suicide victims alone, they have a unique way of handling grief within their support groups. I'm assuming that you may be in law enforcement dealing with police officers. If so, you will need to deal with "Suicide by Cop" and the best way you can set up a group for police officers is to find policemen who have been through this sad type of suicide to lead the groups. They are your experts and leading this type of group will help them heal from this trauma, as well as others. There are many ways that people deal with grief, the worst of which is NOT to deal with it. It comes out sooner or later and cops who think they are tough guys find out that they are not so tough after all. I wish you well and I hope you have a lot of success with your project.)
Nov. 13 - "peEp" says...
"I think you did a wonderful job on your page. I was doing a research paper on Teenage Suicide when I came across your page.. You did a really great job in statistics and everything else. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know it probably was very painful, but at least you can think that your story touches a lot of peoples hearts. God Bless!"
Nov. 12 - Alicia says (from Harassment survey)...
Comments: "This is a very good site i have been harassed since kindergarten because i am over weight i finally got out of my school now i am going to fairfield career center and it is great thanx for the site"
Nov. 6 - DHarris says...
"my sympathies to you in light of the death of your son. I have three small children so far, and realize the enormity of the job - getting them through this world with all the temptations pulling at them."
Nov. 3 - A Grandmother says...
A YOUNG PERSON WHO SOME OF MY GRANDCHILDREN KNEW COMMITTED SUICIDE AND THAT IS WHEN WE GOT ON AOL, SOMETHING I DON'T DO OFTEN. ...I ALWAYS WATCH FOR SIGNS IN MY GRANDCHILDREN THAT MAY NOT BE OF A HEALTHY NATURE, AND LOW AND BEHOLD, MY ONE GRANDDAUGHTER, BEAUTIFUL AND TALENTED, WAS JUST DIAGNOSED WITH ANOREXIA! YOU MUST BE A SPECIAL HUMAN BEING FOR SHARING YOUR EXPERIENCE TO HELP OTHERS. (Yes, Anorexia is definitely a trigger for depression, and depression is the number one cause of suicide.)
Nov. 3 - Julie says...
"Hi, I'm just writing to you to ask a favor , you may not know me that well but I'm doing a project on teenage suicide and I was wondering if you would be able to give me some addresses to look under for more info on teen suicide. You column was great but I need allot more things, Like the catechism of the churches beliefs about it. (catholic) I'd really appreciate it if you could get back to me as soon as possible." (...In the past, most Christian religions have considered a suicide a damning choice and they refused to give that person a Christian burial. Some Eastern & Middle Eastern religions may consider suicide an honorable death, if it was for a specific purpose. As an example; Japanese flyers (Kamikaze) who flew into U.S. Destroyer's during W.W.II killing themselves purposely were considered heroes. Thankfully, today, many Christian religions are beginning to understand that a suicide caused from depression was a death caused by sickness. The world is beginning to understand how devastating depression and anxiety disorders can be. If you want to know what the Mormon's believe concerning suicide than you can go to my link about Suicide and Death, in the Meaning of Life section of JaredStory.com.)
Nov. 2 - Eliza says...
"I am sorry to hear the story about the death of Jared, ...I don't know how to express my sympathy... "
Jared's Life &
About Bullying &
About The Lawsuit
Parent's & Kids
Bullycide in America:
Moms Speak Out!
On E-Book for $ 9.90
The Meaning of Life
Jared's Sister says:
Laughter is Healing
About Jared's Mom
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