..
Questions answered
About Jared and his suicide

"Hi I am a student from U-32 Jr/Sn school and my language arts teacher has given us a project to do. The project is to ask an question that is really personal and try to find the answer. I was hoping that maybe I could ask a few questions for my research. I can't even imagine how it must feel to have to deal with the loss of a child but I have had  a close experience with suicide with my friend, and I thought that we could relate somewhat and I thought it would be easier to interview that knows how it feels to lose a child, so I could understand more about suicide. If you would it would help me so much if you could answer these few questions, and if you have any questions you don't want to answer feel free to not answer them, but your help will be greatly appreciated..."

1. Later on, after grieving time has elapsed do you remember any signs of the fact that your child might commit suicide?  It's rare when the answer is no but we had no clue that Jared was going to die by suicide.  Jared never told us how he was feeling.  On the other hand, we did notice that Jared had some signs of depression, but we didn't know that depression could lead to suicide.

2. If there were any signs that you remember,  what were they and do you think that other people would have disregarded the signs, too?  The signs of depression for Jared were, sleep problems, stress, couldn't concentrate, stomach problems that came with nervous situations, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after the assault inside his middle school by a bully.  I don't think there are many people who will know the signs of depression but most people can feel that something is wrong, they just don't know that it's called depression.

3. Do you think that there is anything you could have done to prevent him committing suicide?  Yes, if we had known about the signs of depression we may have been able to get him the counseling he needed.  Also, if the School District hadn't of blatantly blamed Jared for his own assault then his emotional self-esteem probably wouldn't of plunged so low.

4. How did your child commit suicide and did you ever find out why?  (Okay, I'm thinking, "Is this person judgmental? Will they blame the method of suicide over the mental of suicide...")  Answer: My son shot himself and died instantly.  We knew on that day that Jared had become depressed because of the assault inside his middle school by the bully.  There is a good book that helped us understand his depression called, Suicide, the Forever Decision by Dr. Paul Quinnett.  This would be excellent reading for people who think about suicide as an option for their problems.

5. How did your family deal with the grieving?  It's the worst experience that any family could imagine going through.  What makes it worse than a car accident or Cancer is just asking, "Why didn't he give us a chance to help him?"  In time we all went through the different stages of grief and moved into healing, forgiveness and understanding.

6. What are some signs that people are in that state of depression, and how can people help prevent suicide?  The best place to read about the signs of depression is: http://www.jaredstory.com/depression_causes.html  In my opinion the best way to prevent suicide is to know what the "triggers" to depression are and what causes depression.  No one ever wakes up in the morning and decides to die.  Something happens that changes them.  Be sure and read the depression link, it might save a life someday.  I hope you get the A you want.  Always do your best, ...that's the best anyone can ever ask of you.


For those who are researching for school papers, here are several places on my site that you can get some good information. Check out:

http://www.jaredstory.com/depression.html
http://www.jaredstory.com/suicide.html
http://www.jaredstory.com/email_questions.html
http://www.jaredstory.com/been_there.html
http://www.jaredstory.com/dealing_with_grief.html
http://www.jaredstory.com/depression_causes.html*

* This is the best information (in my opinion) for the prevention of depression and suicide.  If everyone knew the information on these pages I think suicides could drop considerably.
Go get your A!



"(I am) ...a 15 year old from Mount Desert Island, in Southwest Harbor, ME.  I was wondering if I could ask you a few questions for a civic project..."

Hi Brittany,
Here are my best answers for you.

1. Are people that talk about suicide more likely to commit suicide if so why?
Yes.  When people talk about wanting to die by suicide they are asking for help or attention for what's bothering them.  Even joking about suicide should be taken seriously.  Its rare that someone wouldn't talk about suicide first before attempting the act because no one really wants to die.  It's natural to fear death.  Talking about suicide is a cry for help.

2. Why do people commit suicide?
The number one cause of suicide is from depression. Depression is a disease that causes a cloud over the mind taking away all common sense and thoughts of the future.  There are many triggers that can cause depression, emotional, chemical or physical.  Being aware of triggers (injuries, sudden loss, major embarrassment, drugs, etc.) can help prevent and treat depression.  "Anything that happens to the thinking within the brain, such as injury or bad learning experiences that can interfere with serotonins ability to keep basic instincts in line." Cardell Smith, Psychologist.

There are other reasons people die by suicide but in every case there is a trigger.  As an example: A person robs a bank, is chased by police and dies by suicide before he can be taken into custody.  The trigger > Guilt or fear after robbing a bank. A deeper trigger might be "bad learning experiences" while growing up that caused him to think that he could rob a bank in the first place.

3. Why are men more likely to commit suicide than women?
There are two major reasons: a) Men pick deadlier tools, such as guns, cars, and ropes.  Women primarily choose pills, which can give them (or someone else) time to change the outcome.  b) Men and women's brains are wired differently.  Men don't ask directions OR ask for help, but women are more social creatures and are likely to seek help before doing anything drastic.

4. Do you think that assisted suicide is ethical to do and why?
No. Only people who hate life would think there was anything good about dying before their God given time is up.  Today, with all the medicines and medical research available there is no reason for a terminally ill person to feel any pain, even to the moment of death.  There are Hospice House's out there that take dying patients and give tender loving care up until the last moment of breath.  Even those last moments are precious to families who understand that living on this earth is the sweetest gift we can ever have.

5. Why are firearms the most common way to commit suicide?
I'm not sure they are the most common way people die.  A Chaplain once told me that I would be surprised at how many car accidents were believed to be suicides and not accidents, but they are not reported as such to spare the families, or can't be proven as a suicide.

However, that being said, depression is a cloud... when a person chooses a gun as a method to die, they are so far into that cloud that they do not want to return to life.   Under this "cloud" the suicidal person believes that this method is the most swift and painless.

For those who are against guns, for any reason, let me comment that every American has the right to possess firearms under 2nd Amendment in The Constitution.  However, if a child, teen or adult is known to be clinically depressed it would be prudent to lock up these types of weapons, along with all prescription drugs.

Unfortunately, if a person is determined to die it would be impossible to lock up every devise, and deadly tool that can be used to take ones life.  If you looked around the room you are sitting in right now you could easily see dozens of things that could be used to hurt yourself.   That's why it's important to get proper medical and mental health help.  (And if you start looking for things that would hurt you, right now...  You need help.  Get help!)

6. Why do so many couples think that if they commit suicide together than they will be happier?
There is something dysfunctional within a relationship that would cause a couple to feel this way.  Either one or the other, or both, have clinical depression and convinces the other that they are reasoning properly, OR their relationship is not supported by others they love and this causes Anxiety, stress and irrational decisions, such as thoughts of suicide to solve their dilemma.

7. Why do people look at suicide as horrible thing?
There is a book full of reasons that people shun suicide.  I believe that the biggest reason of all is that it's natural for every living person to fear death so suicide is looked at as an unnatural act.  Other reasons might be religious beliefs, that condemn suicide or cultural and environmental teachings that look at suicide as a cowardly act.

These "other reasons" are beginning to change as people understand the mind of depression and the triggers that cause depression.  ...But, as compared to growing old, having a good life and dying in my sleep; suicide IS a horrible thing.

8. What's the most common used drug that people use to commit suicide and why?
(What I'm thinking is, "Why are you asking this question?" - People who think about suicide ask this question so if you are thinking of suicide, get help!)  ...My Answer: I'm not sure here.  My guess is that it's still Sleeping Pills.  But, with properly prescribed prescription medicines becoming the third leading cause of death in the U. S. this would be hard to pin down, especially with the rising suicide rate among senior citizens and misuse of legal and illegal drugs amongst teenagers.    Hope this helps you get your A!

 

 

Jared's Life ...and times
Birth, Bunjie Jumping, and On The Move
Jared in High School (?) and "Swim Kitty Swim"
Cats - and The Dog Who Thinks He's a Cat
Building a Tree House and The Fort in the Dungeon
Jared and The Skittles War

Dirt cake recipe' - Jared's favorite worm cake
Jared's LDS Church Talk - "Covering all the Bases"

 

Photos:
Jared with his Cats
Jared with pet rabbits
Jared with a toad
After the Boy Scout Canoe Trip - See if you can pick out Jared

BSA Merit Badges - Information that every kid could use

What was the cause of Jared's depression?
The Forseeable Consequences of Bullying

 

Keep the BALANCE in your life!
SPIRIT>MIND>BODY>FAMILY>FINANCES>SOCIETY

 

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