SUICIDE... BULLYING... DEPRESSION...
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!
Other people's stories... MARCH 2000
"I just got out of the hospital for attempted suicide. All my life I acted like nothing bothered me, I am to busy making sure very one else was happy and I forgot that I also need to be happy. Now I am medicine to help me with my depression! Well, I better go now, thank again for everything!"
March 30, 2000 - Gina says...
"Hi just wanted to say your web page has helped my deal with a suicide of a friend, he was 42 yrs old and had the world so i thought... he was my sons father, and i feel like i was to blame for his death because he didn't want to see his son, and pay support , and this is the price my son pays for not having contact with him, i have so many emotions about this and i haven't had contact with him in 4 yrs my son is 4, and doesn't know about his dads death, i don't know what to say to him when he asks? any ideas how to tell a child his father died with a shotgun to his head, im feeling like i failed him, i failed his father, how could such pain go unnoticed around his friends his other kids his coworkers, was their something i could've done? i am grieving like i just spent time with him (which i haven't), how long does the pain last? and why am i feeling such a loss when he didn't want me when i was pregnant? and his only son? pleas if ya have any thoughts on this contact me ....and im so! sorry about your loss he was a beautiful child."
March 29, 2000 - Daisy says...
"Hi mom well I read the web page I thank you for writing a web page like that one because I think it will many people that are thinking about committing suicide. My name is Daisy (14) and I'm a suicide survivor. I tried to commit suicide on September 29, 1998 (the same day as Jared) by over dosing on Tylenol. ...and I got in a fight and that's how I solved the problem. I thought that my mother would understand me but she didn't, to this day she makes fun of me for it. I found a wonderful boyfriend that has got me help. I just wanted to tell you that your a wonderful person for talking so openly about your experience. Thanks for caring."
March 29 & 30, 2000 - Tara says...
"I HAVE A FRIEND WHO HAS A SON FROM ANOTHER MARRIAGE.
THIS BOY IS 14 AND HE THREATENED SUICIDE LAST YEAR. THERE WAS NOTHING
DONE EXCEPT HE WAS TAKEN TO A COUNSELOR MAYBE ONCE OR TWICE. IN THE PAST
FEW WEEKS HE HAS RE WRITTEN A SUICIDE NOTE THAT HE FOUND ON THE NET. BY
THE WAY HE LIVES WITH HIS MOTHER. THE FATHER IS FIGHTING FOR CUSTODY NOW.
THE MOTHER AND FATHER BOTH TOOK HIM TO A COUNSELOR AN IGNORANT ONE HE SAID
THE CHILD WAS NOT DEPRESSED. GO FIGURE. HE CONTINUES TO SHOW
SIGNS OF DEPRESSION HE WRITES DEPRESSING POEMS ABOUT HIS LIFE. HE ALSO
MAKES THE STATEMENTS THAT HE DOES NOT BELONG
March 28, 2000 - MCha says...
"I happened upon your site tonight.. not sure why. My husband committed suicide 2 yrs ago.. and while it's been hell for me... i too have considered following in his example. Tonight.. as I read.. I'm not sure why i respond.. perhaps.. just to have someone there.. to know.. that i know... what it's like to lose someone to suicide... yet.. while you have lost a son.. you still have a husband.. a partner.. and i have none... jealousy.. perhaps.. pain - definitely.. despair -absolutely! not sure what it is that i will do.. i know that i must go on.. but.. your site gave me hope..."
March 28, 2000 - Teenager says...
"I myself , a teenager, knows what it is like to be depressed and have thoughts about suicide. There have been times when life had gotten me down and I couldn't take all the pressure , pain and bad things that were happening in my life. I found only one way to solve my problem: I started cutting myself. I have been trying to stop myself with the help of two of my friends- but at the same time thinking about killing myself during the weekend. I happened to go online to do some research and to figure out why I was feeling this way to see if it was a good idea to take my own life. While surfing, I came to this particular web-site and read everything to make up my mind. You have helped me a lot. You have helped me realize that there are people who love me and who don't want to see me hurt. And you have saved a life. There is a saying that if you save the life- then you have saved the world. And that's exactly what you did. I want to thank you for helping me see who I really am and to think about everything. I am so glad that I caught hold of this site . If I didn't - I would not be around anymore. So, I thank you sooo much again! Troubled Teen"
March 27, 2000 - Mandi says...
"...i am doing a report for english and came across this site. I think it was really sweet to make a web page for Jared. I don't know about your son but he sounds like he had a great life. I am sure that my friends and family would not of done this for me. I am truly sorry about your son. Sealed with lots of love."
March 27, 2000 - Wylie says...
"hello, I have just read you web page and wanted to say thank you. My 67 year old mother just survived her 4th suicide attempt in the last 6 years (dad died 7 yrs ago) in a time of complete confusion and a touch of anger and many other emotions, reading this page really got me focused and for that I am GRATEFUL Thanks again!"
March 27, 2000 - Brenda says...
Thank you for www.JaredStory. I feel the need to write
an email to you (which I have never done before as I have searched the
net). My 7th grade son is giving a speech in his health
March 25 & 26 - Bob says...
"I want to thank you for your article in "Surviving
Suicide" (Ten suggestions for dealing
with grief) which led me to your wonderful web page. Our son
Jeremy died by suicide on Feb. 18, 2000 at the age of 38 years. Besides
Jean and me his parents, and John and Lisa his siblings, he leaves his
wife Theresa and 22 month old daughter Paige. We attended the first
meeting of a support group for survivors of suicide last week and received
a copy of the newsletter with your article. It was so helpful (though
painful) to share with others who have experienced such a devastating loss.
We are so thankful for our faith and the loving support of our pastor and
parish family at St. Matthew's Anglican Church. Without them I do
not know how we would have survived these past five weeks.
Since I retired from the faculty of the School of Social Work at the University
of Windsor I have maintained web pages for my church and our faculty retirees'
association as well as administering e-mail discussion groups for Canadian
Anglicans and university retirees (URLs are in my sig below). The
first suggestion in your article inspired me to create a web page that
would both be a memorial for Jeremy and another web resource for survivors
of the suicide of a loved one. The address is:
March 25, 2000 - Susie says...
"I know that you probably get a ton of e-mails from kids asking for help so you probably aren't even ever going to read this, but I'd try anyway. I've never taken a test to see if I have depression, but I am constantly depressed and I'm always scared. I've had thoughts about suicide a lot, but I've never done it because I'm scared of death. I know this is probably a common thing that kids write to you, but if you can give me any help at all I'd greatly appreciate it. I'm 15, and in the last year we moved to NYC from Nebraska because my dad was starting this new business and it wasn't working out in Nebraska. Anywayz, the business isn't going well and it's causing this big tension in our family (and we're losing all our money). My brothers are all getting pretty messed up (they're constantly fighting and other bad things have happened associated with them) and my dad is constantly working and without any sleep he's not that pleasant to be around. I'm a worrywart so I'm constantly worried that something terrible is going to happen. Well, I'm really scared, lonely, and depressed, etc.,. I'm sure you've heard this kind of thing b4, but I thought I'd write to you anyway. I might as well try to get help even if I can't at least I tried. Well, thanks! Bye!" (You are important Susie!!!)
March 24 & 26, 2000 - Karen says...
"A friend of ours son committed suicide, and it was
from them that I found your site. I am truly truly sorry for your
loss. I am a mom with 4 children (born 1986, 1988, 1989, 1991), and
I cannot even begin to imagine a mother's pain, at losing a child. God
bless you for doing something positive from this horrific tragedy -- It
is a tribute to your son and the depth of your love for him that shines
through in your wish to help others. Thank you for sharing him. I
will keep you in my prayers. (...I hope there
are more hugs and kisses given to loved ones because of a visit to JaredStory.com.
We never know when a precious life might be taken in some way. Living and
loving is a gift!)
March 22, 2000 - Anonymous says...
"Thank you soooooo much for your reply. I "hear" you and I know that (obviously) you are a caring person, ...I have never abused drugs or alcohol, I feel like the junkie who believes that he can quit if he/she wants too, like wise I have been telling myself for years that if I hang in there things will get better ...they never do. I'm sorry about your son, I really am! He didn't do it to hurt you, he probably just wanted the pain to end. ...I'm surprised that there is such a compassionate person out there, as to reply emails so late/early. ...Thank you so much."
March 20, & 21, 2000 - Tracy says
"I am from 16 years old and from Connecticut.
How are you? I am really sorry about your son. I was reading
about suicide because it is 12:00 p.m. and I just got home from my friend's
house, I ran over there because she was talking about killing herself.
i was so scared. I told her mom, I know it was the right thing to
do, but her mom just yelled at her. I am so scared I don't know what
to do. Her mom was yelling at me saying I should have told her what
was going on but I told her everything I knew and I feel like if my friend
gets hurt it will be my fault cuz she didn't want her mom to know.
I was wondering if you could write back to me sometime and give me some
advice. It's okay if you don't have time, I just don't know what
March 20, (& April 4) 2000 - Shelby says...
"I am almost 14 years old. I live in Sioux City, Ia.
I recently got an assignment where we have to pick a topic and find examples
of it. I chose to do my paper on the effects of Teen Suicide. I was reading
through some victims of this terrible thing, and I came across your web
site. It truly touched my heart. Jared seems like he was a wonderful son.
About a year ago, I was on the verge of suicide. It was the day after my
father moved out. My parents had recently got a divorce. I began to believe
it was ALL MY FAULT. I thought I should die. That I was a disgrace to our
family and everyone. I was depressed all the time. My friends became worried,
but I insisted that everything was "ok", when really I needed their help,
I was just too self involved to realize it. So the day came when I was
home by myself, my mom working one of her 3 jobs, and my dad was at his
new house. I was ready to end my life. I went downstairs to my kitchen
...on my counter was a huge meat knife ...and an *NSYNC CD. I stood there
for almost an hour just thinking and crying. I kept saying "which one of
these do I want going through my head?" I didn't know what choice to make
...so I just continued standing there ...thinking about what would happen
if I was gone... and finally realized that nothing is bad enough to result
in death. I picked up that *NSYNC CD and listened to number 5 "God
Must Have Spent A Little More Time On You" and realized that God spent
a little bit more time on me, because He made me realized the gift
of life. I am such a huge *NSYNC fan now. Everything I own
has to do with them in some way. They saved my life. I believe that I owe
them something for that. But they will probably never even know me. My
biggest goal in life is to meet them. I doubt that it will ever happen,
but if I try hard enough, and work on my goal ...maybe I will succeed.
Anything can happen. They're third album "No Strings Attached" comes out
on Tuesday, and it's made me think about my life. About how much they have
given me. So the reason I'm writing this is because I realize that
you have been through this very same thing. When I first read that Jared
died from suicide because of depression, I began to cry. What if I made
that same choice. Your site has made it clear to me about the effects of
suicide. After suicide you have NOTHING. Thank you so very much for
that. You are honestly a gift from God. I believe in Him and I'm sure you
do too. I also believe that Jared is in Heaven thinking about you daily.
Continue with your gift and I will be reading the web site more frequently
to learn more about Jared. THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN. Your an angel."
March 18, 2000 - Heather says...
"I'm not sure exactly where to start. My bother committed suicide on Feb. 2, 2000. He was 36, and one of my best friends. I have been desperately searching since his death for other stories and ideas of how to start a prevention program in my area. I came across your web site by chance, (hours of surfing for information with no luck). Your page really touched my heart. Every time I think of all the other families who have had to face this situation, I just want to cry. Cry for my pain and theirs. Thank you for being the kind of person who did not "sweep it under the rug". Something good has to come from everything bad. And I believe reaching out to help others in times like this is the only way good can come from a suicide. Maybe there is another family who has not had to face suicide because of your effort. I wish there were more people in the world like you. Maybe both our loved ones would still be alive if that was the case. And I guess through all the sadness and despair my only ray of light will be if I can help others too. I just wanted to say I think you have done a wonderful job. Thank You. You are helping to pave the way for those of us that have endured the pain and need to do something to help the pain of others. Thank you again."
March 16, 2000 - Robin says...
"I would like to thank you for sharing Jared with me for I have also lost a 16 year old son to suicide. It was the unimaginable imagined. I am just very fortunate to have a strong faith in God and a belief in the afterlife. I am so glad to have found the websites that I have, as they are helping me with my grief. Kraig, my son was also a very special person. I will say a prayer for Jared when praying for Kraig. Again thank you for helping me through this most painful time in my life." Robin invites you to her son's page at: http://members.aol.com/inkraigsname2000/InKraigsName.html
March 16, 2000 - unknown...
"MY BEST FRIENDS LITTLE BROTHER CAME ONLINE EARLIER TODAY AND TOLD ME WHEN HE WAS AT WORK HE PUT A KNIFE TO HIS WRIST AND JUST LOOKED AT IT ..AND I TOLD HIM HE NEEDED TO GET HELP AND HE KINDA BLEW ME OFF ...I WAS DEPRESSED FOR A LONG TIME WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER AND DIDN'T GET HELP ... I STILL SUFFER WITH IT EVERY NOW AND THEN LIKE LAST MONTH WAS A REALLY BAD... I LOST A BABY (PREGNANCY) AND IT REALLY HIT ME LAST MONTH BUT I HAVE GOTTEN HELP FOR MYSELF. ...THE WEIRD THING ABOUT THIS REALLY NOW IS THAT YOU AND HIS MOM (best friends little brother) HAVE THE SAME NAME. THANK YOU FOR RESPONDING SO QUICK AND I AM SORRY FOR THE LOSS OF YOUR SON. I HAVE BEEN IN TEARS ALL DAY ABOUT THIS THANK YOU VERY MUCH"
March 14, (&15) 2000 - Nicole says...
"Hi, my name is Nicole and I wanted to tell you what a great site you have for Jared. I'm doing a project on teenage suicide and I was wondering, with your help, if I could read his story in class on why he committed suicide. If this is too uncomfortable for you to write his story to me, that's ok. But if you can, it would be of great help to my classmates and I. ...The reason why I chose to do this report is because I wanted to find out why I was feeling the way I did and hear other people and what they had to say."
March 14, 2000 - Dee Dee says...
"My 18 year old son Simeon, the third of four in our family shot himself last month. ...I miss my son so much I can not even see the keys. My sister sent me Jared's web page. Jared and Simeon sound allot alike. Simeon was the life of our family. Forever clowning around, amusing everyone with his charm and wit. He had so much love for everyone; still kissed me and my husband goodnight. I guess I have been so busy since this all happened taking care of everyone ...today I am consumed with grief and the utmost sadness; I am hugging Simeon's shoes and pants. Anyway, thank you for the page. It helped. And the ideas. My family wanted Simeon's name to live on. We have visions of a "Simeon Foundation" to help teens in crisis. How that is to materialize... I 'm not sure. But it is a vision."
March 14, 2000 - Kimberly says...
"A close friend of mine killed himself this past Monday.
One of his really close friends is now seeming more and more depressed
and I'm really worried that he might try to kill himself. He claims he's
okay and not to worry him. Also he continuously calls me and tells me he
loves me when I already have a boyfriend. I just told him that I like him
but only as a friend. He then hung up the phone on me. I'm so scared he
might actually do something drastic. Some of the information on this site
is really helping me to find some warning signs and maybe to help someone
else live, unlike my friend Scott. He shut everyone out and wouldn't let
anyone help at all. I wish in some way that I could have helped him. We
have had 3 suicides at my school in the last 3 years. I'm going to start
a club to get teens involved. We would be telling other teens about suicide
and what it does to families, friends, everyone. How it affects everyone!!!
Do you have any information that might help me get started?? (I
referred her to Chris Hanson at Helping Each other And Reassuring Teens
Thanks for your time!"
March 13, 2000 - Tammy says...
"Hi, I lost my husband to suicide just 9 months ago. He was 28. We were married 8 years and the pain is so unbearable. I know my MIL and FIL are having hard times also as he was an only child. Please let me know if there is any way it will get easier. I miss him so much. I cant understand the depression . He was drinking the night he did it and I am not sure he meant to."
March 13 & 14, 2000 - (Dr.) Stan says...
"I'm thoroughly enjoying your website. The wisdom and wit of it are striking and going to be helpful to many. ...You DO make a difference. Your energy and commitment to make Jared's life count for other is commendable and exciting to those who care about the S.O.S. (Survivors of Suicide) families... You have risen above tragedy and put your grief to work. That is an example and inspiration for all of us."
March 12 (&14), 2000 - Meg says...
"Hi, I read your web page today and I thought it was very special. He seemed like such a fun outgoing kid. Im really sorry for your loss. I was wondering did you ever find out why your son was so depressed? From what I read his childhood seemed a very happy one. ...I've thought of suicide a lot but never been able to actually do it and it helps me to see stories that I can relate to so that I know Im not alone." (I referred Meg to the Letter to the Editor in About Suicide)
March 11, 2000 - Theresa says...
"I just read your story about your son Jared; and I am deeply sorry for you ; I also have lost my son David when he was only twenty one; and your son was so younger than mine; I would like to ask you how did you get that site on the net; I would love to do that for my son; If it is too hard for you I will understand; again I am so sorry; Know that he loves you and is always with you in all that you are." (I took some classes, & got help from a very nice teenager and my older son)
March 8, 2000 - Jamie says...
"I just recently lost someone very special to me because he chose to take his life ...he was 18 and had so many friends. ...I'm going through so much at times I lose myself... I don't know what I'm doing where I'm going or even where I'm at.... I don't know how to talk about it... My mom tells me we need ...to be strong ...I want someone to help me but no one seems to think I need it... I try to cry to someone, I try to talk to people and my mom gives me that "suck it up and be strong" look... but I can't anymore... What do I do.... how can I help myself if no one sees that I need someone to help me?"
March 7, 2000 - Shellie says...
"Dear Jared's Mom, I am a 9th grade student at Waukegan High School in Waukegan IL . I am doing a big report for health class on "suicide," i chose to do this topic because I'm at the age that most of these teens are doing this, and i wanted to get a chance to learn more about it. It really hurts me to hear and see all these horrible things going on in the world, and "suicide" is one of the worst ones for me to hear about. I know what all these people are going through because I'm one of them. It's very stressful to be a teen. I know from reading the article your son was a very good person. And i know a lot of people miss him. I know u do to. I know just by reading the article on you son it is a painful thing to deal with, and i am happy u could share it with people. I feel really bad, and i know u love him, u were a great mom so keep your head up and keep on sharing your story with people having a hard time.... well to get to the point thank you!!!" (Thank you, Shellie :))
March 7, 2000 - Laura says...
"HELLO I'M LAURA AND I AM DOING A PROJECT ON SUICIDE FOR MY ADOLESCENTS IN SOCIETY CLASS AND I WAS ON YOUR PAGE I JUST WANTED TO SAY I FEEL YOUR PAIN. ...I AM A 15 YEAR OLD NOW ...I COULD NEVER EVEN BEGIN TO THINK OF MY MOTHER BURYING ME BUT I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU YOUR IN MY THOUGHTS AND I HOPE YOU KNOW THAT JARED IS OUT OF PAIN NOW EVEN THOUGH YOU DON'T HAVE HIM WITH YOU YOU KNOW HE STILL LOVES YOU."
March 5 (&11) - Toni says...
"My nephew (like my own child really) died from suicide on november 22, 1999. I have struggled so with the whole issue, looking for information and answers to so many questions. i am sorry that you lost your son also. i will pray for you and all of the other families every time i pray for my sister who lost her only child. - ...i was surprised and happy to get your email. i know our lives have been forever changed by Adam's death. we will go on but it will be in a different kind of way. i have not put God out of my life. ...At Adams funeral during the message the pastor said. Adam just could not keep going, he was so depressed and unhappy. So God said to Adam, 'It's ok Adam, i understand. come home to me,' that is what i would like to believe."
March 4, 2000 - Bo says..."dear mom, first of all... im really sorry for this tragedy of yours. it must be really hard for you and your family. I just hope you can get through it and just try to move on. Its gonna be hard, believe me.. i've been through the same thing.. and all you gotta do is move on.... im only 17 years old.. and thought about committing suicide myself.. but now.. when i think twice.. i regret even thinking about committing suicide. Well your article has really influenced me in a major way, and i can speak for many others who have read this story.. im glad you want the whole world to know about it.. and to help other family and young teens about committing suicide. i would really appreciate it if you would e-mail me back and tell me how your doing. thanks."
March 2 2000 - Judi says..."Next month will mark the one worst day of my life (April 30th) My son, Rich took his life by jumping off a bridge very close to my home. His leap to death was 174 feet to the water. ...Since the bridge connects two states, Washington and Oregon, there were law enforcement from both states involved. They actually had a difference of opinion as to what jurisdiction would take charge of the event. ...My son was born in 1970 and his life ended at a young age of 28. As I sit here, I have his picture that was his graduation from boot camp from the US Coast Guard. I have not reached out to anyone with my loss. People around me think that I am doin "just fine," but reality is, I am not doing just fine. I miss him so very much, even though I know that he is finally at peace with his mental illness, that a collective group of family and friends did not recognize. His body was not found until 7 weeks after he went into the river. ...I have read the book that Kay Jamison wrote called Understanding Suicide and it has given me some insight as to what may have been wrong in my Son's life. Thanks for listening to me. (March 21, 2000 cont.) ...Today, I made a memorial contribution to the Washington State Police to have a video camera installed in the Trooper's vehicle. The Trooper made every effort to talk Rich from jumping from the bridge, and was very compassionate and caring when he came to my home with personal affects that were taken from Rich's car. Hopefully with what I have done will save the lives of our law enforcement people and innocent citizens that need the help of the great men and women that are out to protect us. There will be a plaque in my son's honor in the troopers car." (You did a wonderful grief project in your son's honor, I know they will appreciate it)
March 2, 2000 - Sabrina says..."Thank you so much! that was very helpful! Your info has furthered my search. Thanks again"
March 2, 2000 - Melissa says..."Hi I was wondering if you could help me. I am trying to find where I can go in my city (Coral Springs, Florida 33065) or somewhere to get free counseling. I don't have a job or the money and the support of my single Mom to go and frankly I don't want her to know I am going or for her help. I am trying to make a change in myself and my life and her helping me, well is no help at all. I am at the point where I feel I am going to explode. ...I get so angry and out of control, I feel like dying sometimes. And after making so many attempts to kill myself I know it's not right. I need the help soon. ...If you can help please search for such a place and if you want nothing to do with me then just write back and say so. I don't know why I chose to write this to you, but I was on your website and the words just started to flow out so I just wrote you. I have to go now but please try to help. (14 yrs. old)"
The diagnosis and treatment of depression and other psychiatric disorders requires trained medical professionals. The information provided above is to be used for educational purposes only. It should NOT be used as a substitute for seeking professional care for the diagnosis and treatment of any mental/psychiatric disorders. The books are recommended as a reference, not as medical advice.
Jared's Life &
About Bullying &
About The Lawsuit
Parent's & Kids
Bullycide in America:
Moms Speak Out!
On E-Book for $ 9.90
The Meaning of Life
Jared's Sister says:
Laughter is Healing
About Jared's Mom