.. .Suicide  Bullying  depression


Emails from people who have "been there, done that" - they have lost someone to suicide, have thought of, or are

thinking about suicide. Emails from people enduring, or have endured bullying or have suffered from depression.

Other people's stories...  MAY  2000

May 30 & 31, 2000 - Jayme says...

"...i am 17, and i wanted to say thank you because the past 3 months i have really been considering suicide as the answer to all my problems.  because there is this girl that i like a lot, i mean i more than like her, i care so much about her, but i don't know if she likes me or not ...and i have cried myself to sleep every night for about a month, praying that God would give me some kind of a sign, and i have been having these nightmares that i see her with another guy and then i come home and get a gun and... I always wake up before I pull the trigger, and every time I have that dream I always wake up in tears.  Well, I am sorry I had to take up your time by telling you this but I figured you were a Mom and I figured you would understand since no one else does. Thank you so much for your time.
 and later -  i just wanted to say thanx again because me having someone like you to talk to helps me a lot.  ...the way i feel about this girl is different, i don't just want to have sex with her i want to love her.  i want to wait till i am married before i have sex because i want it to be special.  i mean I am not thinking about taking my life now...  Thanx again for listening to me."

May 25, 2000 - Amy says...

"I enjoyed the beautiful pictures of your son and the stories of his life with you.  I am sorry for your terrible loss and am going to pray for you and your family.  I too lost someone to suicide.  Thank you for sharing your page."

May 25, 2000 - Candace says...

"My name is Candace. I am doing a research report about suicide. You are probably asking your self why would someone do a report about suicide.  Well, I wanted to do my report on something I know about, and I know about suicide. I have tried to commit suicide 2 and I have had friends that have. I want to know his story. Can you please help me."

May 24, 2000 - Kim says...

"guess what?  i did my speech (about suicide) on Monday and i got an A! r ya proud?  They loved it and my teacher thought it was great that i talk to you so she gave me extra credit!!"

May 23, 2000 - Richard says...

"I am now 30 years old.  When I was 11 years old, I didn't know it then like I do now, but I was very depressed over many things but mostly the thought that I may also be homosexual.  I was preparing myself to leave the Earth; giving my possessions away, deciding what kind of note I would leave behind, and how I would take my life and telling others that I wanted to kill myself.  So many times I would stand by the wide open window, four stories high, looking down to the ground and realizing it all can end right there.  I can't remember what changed in me that I would become less depressed and never consider taking my life again.  But I do remember being so sadly close to making that decision...  I don't suppose that was the only thing stirring in my young mind so as to draw me to such a dire choice.   Having had this experience, I can so truly empathize and even sympathize with Jared's idea of ending the pain.  I was virtually there....  My heart goes out to you.  With Love and Peace."

May 23, 2000 - Dustin says...

"A touching tribute. I mourn for your loss. And fully understand... I could easily have been a Jared. My cousin was a Jared.  If there were healing words, I would say them. In this case, my silence speaks for me."

May 23, 2000 - Jimmy says...

"Just checked out your site and was deeply touched by your brave  generosity and unflinching testimony. As a 45 year old LDS man, I am in my third year of treatment for severe depression. I was to the point of taking my own life when I reluctantly sought help from my Bishop. It has not been easy enduring the "trial by medicine", the counseling, admission to family and friends that I suffer from mental illness, the break up of my marriage, loss of employment and all the other consequences of this decision, however, I feel that a new life has been given to me and a new opportunity to contribute to the world.  In sharing your experiences, you too are making a tremendous gift of love to those who may be foundering in the darkness of this insidious disease. Although it must be very painful to allow the world to look upon your heartbreaking wounds, much as the Savior did, I feel that you are shining a ray of hope to many who have (or think they have) no hope of surviving, let alone enjoying the trials that make up life. Thank you for your contribution to my life. If there is any way I can be of service to you and yours, do not hesitate to tell me what to do! Keep the faith, keep up the good work, and may Heavenly Father soothe your sorrows."

May 21, 2000 - Kristy says...

"...I am 14 yrs old and my 2 friends  keep talkin about tryin to kill themself. I looked at this page and sent it to them and I myself thought a couple of times especially today about killing myself and i don't know why but looking at this page made me change my mind. Just like to say keep up the good work on the page.  ...I am sorry about jared. Wish i could of got to knew him. Do you mind if i e-mail you if i need any help or anything?" (Anytime!)

May 18, 2000 - Unknown says...

"Hi, just wanted to say what you are doing is great.  I am a teen who has pondered and attempted suicide on many occasions.  I never thought about the pain I would cause my family by taking my own life.  I thought no one would really miss me.  I now see how much of an impact I would have on my family.  I feel your sorrow through your written words and thank you for sharing your story.  I feel you have already saved many lives since you helped me change my mind.  I pray that your life will be filled with much joy."

May 17 & 19, 2000 - Luke says...

"Thanks for the warm and helpful story about your son, Jared.  I am very sorry for the loss you must endure.  My grandfather committed suicide in 1985.  He was 62 years old.  I still miss him.  Jared's story reminded me of my cousin Tommy who also committed suicide.  Tommy was 16 years old.  I have had so much hurt and anger and confusion and mostly guilt.  I wish i could have prevented their deaths.  I am 30 years old now and my girlfriend is very suicidal (she has made several attempts).  I have called the crisis intervention hotline, called her counselor, talked to her parents, I have even had to call the police.  However, I feel at a total loss for help.  What can I do to stop her?  How can I get her to stop considering suicide as solution to her problems?  After my cousin took his life, I vowed that no one I care about would ever do that again. And now here I am facing suicide with the person closest to me.  If she doesn't get help, she will not survive.  What kind of resources are available for us?
And Later... Thanks for the help.  I will pick-up Dr. Quinnett's book today.  And yes, there has been a trigger in her life.  Her brother was killed in a car accident 2 years ago; I don't think she really ever grieved.  I will see about counseling for this.  Thank you so much."

May 17, 2000 - Bruce says...

"I have recently created an award for people who have a story to tell, and have shown the courage to tell it.  I would like you to accept it if you wish.  Thank you for telling sharing your life with others.  This award cannot be applied for.  I give it freely to people who I feel deserve it.  You are one of them Take Care"

May 15, 2000 - Brandon says...

"Hi, i don't even know you, but i was wandering if you could help? You see, i think I am depressed, and suicidal. I am very over weight (269 pounds), Hearing impaired, cleft palate problem, eyes sight problem, kidney problem.  I am always getting laughed at, and can never get a girl to go out with me. What the point of going on, with my life? ...at least all the pain and suffering would go away.  Well, i am not sure if this is the kind of stuff or question you are here for or want, ... I am 14." 

May 13, 2000 - Kara says...

"I'd just like to complement you on your website Jaredstory.com.  Recently, actually a month ago today, one of my best friends committed suicide two days after his 17th birthday.  Devastation and numbness was all I felt, and someone suggested I go online and see this site.  When it happened, I felt so unknown to myself, but seeing this makes me realize that it has happened, unfortunately, to so many people, and so many loved ones are left behind.  This page was a good way to preserve the memories of your son, and to work out your thoughts.  I wish I could make a page like this for my friend, but with computers I basically know nothing. The site has a lot of thoughtful work put into it, and I thought I'd just drop a line.  Take care."

May 13, 2000 - Zenya says...

"thank you so much for responding to my e-mail i know how much it must hurt a uncle of mine killed himself ...he did it over losing his wife which still hurts im so sorry that you had to endure the pain of losing a loved one , take care."

May 11, 2000 - Valerie says...

"I am a 25 year old mother of two. I visited your web page today and i would like to tell you how sorry I am about your son.  I was also wondering if you knew of a sight that I could visit because you see, This past sunday my 17 year old sister tried to kill herself. Thank God she did not succeed but it was a very close call.  She has made a tremendous amount of improvement the past 4 days (physically). Our family is very thankful.  But I am having a really hard time dealing with this on my own.  Feelings of guilt and wondering why she didn't call me.  I would appreciate it if you were able to refer me.  Thank you." (There are many sources of help on the 'About Suicide' page)

May 11, 2000 - Jennifer says...

"I don't know why the search engine brought up your page, but I am so glad that it did. How my heart breaks for your family when I see the photo of that precious boy and how afraid I feel when I consider that my own child could make that same decision! I have an 11 year old boy and although life is pretty easy externally for him, he has problems inside that are breaking his heart. He sees a psychiatrist every week and that has helped a lot. Even when he was younger he talked about either killing himself or wanting to shoot people. Usually he is a normal kid who has the same problems as everyone else - and the same joys. But then I will notice a flicker of a shadow cross his face and I wonder.... What is going on in his mind? What does he think about his life and the worth of it? I wish I could put my arms around you and thank you for being, somehow, strong enough to cope with the death of your son and get on with your life and put up such an important and meaningful page.  I do not know how I could exist if such a thing happened to me. God bless you and, most importantly, comfort you, as you wait to see your dear son in heaven again someday."

May 10, 2000 - Tracy says...

"I think it is wonderful that you have spent the energy on creating something that can help others.  I am a divorced 39 yr old woman with no children so I cannot imagine what it must have been like to lose your son.  I have major depressive disorder and have thought of leaving this world many times so your site was very helpful to me.   Thanks for sharing the goodness in the world.  You've made a positive thing out of a very sad one.   Peace be with you."

May 8, 2000 - Cathy says...

"im sorry about your son its a tragic story im sorry you have to go through the pain. my best wishes."

May 6, 2000 - Jo Anna says...

"i am sorry about your loss of  a son. you are a great mom and inspiration to us all.  God bless you and your family."

May 6, 2000 - JLK says...

"The heart felt story you let us know about your son was heart teaching.  I had a problem that no one could understand, my best friend didn't even know about it. See I was so sad. I didn't know what to do. So I thought I would kill myself but I couldn't get enough strength to do it. So when I felt depressed I would CUT my hand a little, so no one could see it. I thought I would feel better but turns out I only felt worse. I didn't know why. I thought maybe someone would find out and notice that I needed someone. It hasn't been so long ago I cut myself. That I thought I'd go on the internet to here about other deaths. Well, I seen Jared's story and thought I would just to read cause there was nothing better to do.  I want to thank you for putting up this website for it has done a ot for me. I know now that I should go and talk to my best friend tonight and tell her that I have a problem a BIG PROBLEM. Thanks again you just saved my life. Thanks,   JLK
P.S. I hope you understand that Jared's death was a great lose to all not only you. He has saved anothers life by giving his...."

May 4, 2000 - Ashley says...

"...When I was in 7th grade I was very unhappy. In the summer of 99 I tried to kill myself and boy it almost worked.  After that I had to stay in the hospital for a couple of weeks.  I can't believe I did but it hurts me to think the I am not the only one.  People always beat me up and I feel hurt but now that I know I have a problem I can stop. He was only about 14 I imagine.  Well thank u"

May 2, 2000 - Alisha says...

"Hello, my name is Alisha and I am from Missouri.  Right now I am a senior in high school but taking all college classes.  In my advanced composition class I am researching suicide due to several recent suicides in my home town.  I was wondering if you had any statistics about this horrible disease and would you be willing to share them with me.  ...I am looking at suicide at an unusual angle and it is hard for me to find some information that I need.  Thank you very much for you time and consideration."

May 2, 2000 - Heartb says...

"how come jared felt like no one loved him how come he didn't tell no 1 how he felt.  he seems like a really cool guy and i am  a 13/f i would of loved 2 know him! ...can u send me why jared committed suicide...?  (You can find your answers on www.JaredStory.com/email_questions.html)

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