SUICIDE... BULLYING... DEPRESSION...
BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!
Other people's stories... OCTOBER - DECEMBER 1999
Dec. 22, 99 - Liz says..."Dear Jared's Mom, I'm sorry, but I don't know your name. Thank you for the website. My son Jeremy died by suicide in May 1999, and I desperately needed to know that he went to Heaven, and had even asked some of my more religious friends to find some scriptures for me to read. Unfortunately, no one had come through, but I happened upon your web page and had to thank you. My grief is still overwhelming, but each time I read something like your web page, I heal a little more. My prayers go out to you and your family."
Dec. 19, 99 - Cerina and Ed say...
"I really like what you have done with your Web Pages about Jared. They are very informative and I enjoyed seeing and reading about the funny things that Jared did while growing up. It's a great service to others who share your experience. Good job!"
Dec. 15, 99 - Chrissy says..."hi. My name is Chrissy. I'm 18 years old and I am a survivor of suicidal thoughts. I would like to say I am so sorry for you and offer my deepest apologies. I feel like I can relate closely to your story, for I had wanted to kill myself for the longest time, about 3 years. I used to tell my mom and it would make her so upset. She used to check on me in the middle of
the night to make sure I hadn't done anything. But even though I felt so horrible, I had no intentions of hurting my family, even if I were to have done it. I want you to know that your son didn't want to hurt you, I'm sure it was the farthest thing from his mind. Everything happens for a reason, we all have our destiny's. Maybe Jared was too good for this world and has moved on to a better one. I'm sure you two will be reunited eventually and you will get to see him again. Where ever he is, he's not in pain anymore and wants you to be happy. I am in awe of how wonderful you have been and how strong you can be. I am so sorry, but you are doing so much good for other people. I'd like to thank you for dedicating so much time for a good cause. You are an amazing woman." (Life is worth living Chrissy, I'm glad you wrote!)
Dec. 9, 99 - Janell says..."...I came across your site and started reading. Six years ago my husband committed suicide. One morning in July... he left our house to go to work and never came back. At 1:30 that afternoon I got a phone call that he had committed suicide in a sugar cane field about ten miles from our house. He left me three months pregnant and with a three year old daughter. For the longest time I hated him for leaving me like that but as time went by I started to understand that maybe there were things in his life that I didn't know about. Things that he could not handle. ...dealing with a suicide is hard enough because there is always the question of why. Even through I have tried so many times to figure out why he did that and what could have driven him to do such a drastic thing. I have come to understand over the last 6 years that I will never know. He is the only one who knows. My kids and I just go on with our lives. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone."
Dec. 7, 99 - Eileen says..."Hello, My name is Eileen... I am 17 years old. I'm using my father's computer to do a research paper on suicides for my high school Psychology class. I just read your web page on Jared and am extremely touched. I thought your 10 suggestions for surviving the death of a loved one was neat. ...thank you and God bless you for the work you are doing."
Dec. 1, 99 - Michelle says...
"I am new to the web. I have been a survivor of face to face suicide of 18 months. My husband was a beautiful man, but could not and would not deal with his depression and in the end, it killed him. I'm writing you to thank you for your strength in sharing. That is the only way to help connect survivors and know that we can let the world know about our loved ones. My daughter and I have gone through so much because no one wants to hear the word "suicide", ...well for us it has become a daily reminder. Your web-site has helped us. Again, thank you."
Nov. 24, 99 - Lynne says...
"I must tell you that I was incredibly moved by Jared's story. I feel certain that it took enormous effort not only to face your son's death, but to explore and share with others the various parts of his life--especially in the face of the many unanswerable questions posed by his friends, family, and members of the community.In effect, your site put a face on suicide for me. I suppose I have been like many other people, thinking that suicide is considered mostly by people with mental illness or overwhelming depression. (And I have a master's degree in social work!) Seeing Jared's picture and reading the stories about his childhood made me understand that those considering suicide are just like most other people. I laughed at the funny stories from his childhood--they reminded me of happenings in my own childhood and in the lives of my nieces and nephews. I cried reading the comments from his friends, who clearly miss him and feel such deep loss.
Thank you for sharing Jared's story. I guarantee I won't think about suicide the same way again."
Nov. 21, 99 - Melody says..."Hi, My name is Melody. I visited your sons page today. My heart goes out to you... for I have also lost people to suicide. My brother David, twenty seven years ago, and my nephew John last Oct. Your son was so young, a baby it seems... my, why can't we stop this!"
(Melody has a web page in honor of her nephew: http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Garden/6857/)
Nov. 7, 99 - Katy says...
"Hi, I'm Katy and I think it's a great idea to put Jared's story on the internet. It takes a lot of courage. What I wanted to ask you is why do you think he did it? Because to me if I were to commit suicide it would probably be because of my parents. If his reason was the same as mine would be, do you feel guilty for not taking the time to see that he was hurt? Write me at ..." (I tried to write Katy at the email address she gave but it came back. I referred her to a Letter to the Editor written in the "About Suicide" section.)
Nov. 3, 99 - Tahirih says...
"I appreciated finding your web
site. Like you, we lost our son to suicide (July 31, 1998). I don't do
it quite so often lately, but sometimes still I wander around the web looking
for others who have had this experience. I have a deep need to know what
they believe, and feel and think about what has happened to them. Thank
you for being there tonight as I was again wandering."
Oct. 28, 99 - Jennifer says...
"Hi, I saw your website when I was doing research for a paper that I am writing for a class I am taking. The paper is on survivors of suicide and how they dealt with the loss. I was just wondering if you could help me out and tell me what got you through this loss and how you dealt with your grief. Thank you. (I referred her to the Dealing with Grief page) - ...Thank you so much, and the page is awesome. :) "
Oct. 24, 99 - Jaymie says...
"No ideas yet... (grief page), just starting to deal with this. Thanks for your web page, it soothed my heart about where my friend's soul will be after taking his own life. I'm terribly sorry about your son."
Oct. 12, 99 - Vickie says...
"Dear Jared's mom, I am so sorry to hear of your son's death. It is truly a tragedy for anyone to die by suicide but especially one so young. I understand your loss to a certain degree but I have not lost a son. My brother, died by suicide... It has been a long and hard journey for me not really understanding all that did happen. My brother, was my best friend and when he died a big part of me died with him. ...I just wanted to say that I feel your pain and your loss. Thank you for sharing because it lets us know that we are not alone in our grief."
Oct. 12, 99 - Rachel says...
"Hi, I wanted to write you and say hello. I will be praying for you. I am 27 years old and I am a survivor of suicide. On August the fourth my Grampa committed suicide. He left behind my Gram and his 5 daughters, 13 grandchildren, which he helped to raise, and 7 great grandchildren. ...I am so sad and numb. I feel guilt but I know that is one of the stages. If I had only known... I have put all my trust in Jesus Christ because he is my Lord. I am grateful for the time I got to have with Grampa. ...I will see him again. I wanted to tell you that I am grateful for the web page and thanks for reading this from me. ...even though my Grampa was 70 we loved him and still feel pain. I know how you feel and it was beyond our control..."
Oct. 1, 99 - Devica says...
"...oddly enough, God allows these awful events in our lives, and His purpose is not always clear. Somehow, suffering, grief, these things are necessary for growth. ...I believe we put way too much importance on this life, these bodies, because, again, in the whole scope of it all, the only thing that really matters is what we are accomplishing here for that eternal life with Jesus... ours and others, besides, we will all receive brand new bodies when we are resurrected the day of judgment... that will never die, my friend!"
Oct. 1, 99 - Lacey says..."I'm really sorry for what happened... I didn't really know Jared but he was really nice and he also rode my bus... he wasn't on much but he was on sometimes. When I heard about it I was crying in the halls, counselor offices were full. I really wish it didn't happen, I don't know why but I'm sorry it was him..."
Jared's Life &
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Bullycide in America:
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The Meaning of Life
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Laughter is Healing
About Jared's Mom