BEEN THERE, DONE THAT!
Emails from people
who have "been there, done that" - they have lost someone to suicide, have
thought of, or are
suicide. Emails from people enduring, or have endured bullying or have suffered
Other people's stories...
OCTOBER - DECEMBER 1999
Dec. 22, 99 - Liz says...
"Dear Jared's Mom, I'm sorry, but I don't know your name.
Thank you for the website. My son Jeremy died by suicide in May 1999,
and I desperately needed
to know that he went to Heaven, and had even asked some of my more
religious friends to find some scriptures for me to read. Unfortunately,
no one had come through, but I happened upon your web page and had to thank
you. My grief is still overwhelming, but each time I read something like
your web page, I heal a little more. My prayers go out to you and your
Dec. 19, 99 - Cerina and Ed say...
"I really like what you have
done with your Web Pages about Jared. They are very informative and
I enjoyed seeing and reading about the funny things that Jared did while
growing up. It's a great service to others who share your experience. Good
Dec. 15, 99 - Chrissy says...
"hi. My name is Chrissy. I'm
18 years old and I am a survivor of suicidal thoughts. I would like
to say I am so sorry for you and offer my deepest apologies. I feel
like I can relate closely to your story, for I had wanted to kill myself
for the longest time, about 3 years. I used to tell my mom and it
would make her so upset. She used to check on me in the middle of
the night to make sure I hadn't
done anything. But even though I felt so horrible, I had no intentions
of hurting my family, even if I were to have done it. I want you
to know that your son didn't want to hurt you, I'm sure it was the farthest
thing from his mind. Everything happens for a reason, we all have
our destiny's. Maybe Jared was too good for this world and has moved
on to a better one. I'm sure you two will be reunited eventually
and you will get to see him again. Where ever he is, he's not in
pain anymore and wants you to be happy. I am in awe of how wonderful
you have been and how strong you can be. I am so sorry, but you are
doing so much good for other people. I'd like to thank you for dedicating
so much time for a good cause. You are an amazing woman." (Life
is worth living Chrissy, I'm glad you wrote!)
Dec. 9, 99 - Janell says...
"...I came across your site and
started reading. Six years ago my husband committed suicide. One morning
in July... he left our house to go to work and never came back. At 1:30
that afternoon I got a phone call that he had committed suicide in a sugar
cane field about ten miles from our house. He left me three months pregnant
and with a three year old daughter. For the longest time I hated him for
leaving me like that but as time went by I started to understand that maybe
there were things in his life that I didn't know about. Things that he
could not handle. ...dealing with a suicide is hard enough because
there is always the question of why. Even through I have tried so many
times to figure out why he did that and what could have driven him to do
such a drastic thing. I have come to understand over the last 6 years that
I will never know. He is the only one who knows. My kids and I just go
on with our lives. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone."
Dec. 7, 99 - Eileen says...
"Hello, My name is Eileen... I am
17 years old. I'm using my father's computer to do a research paper on
suicides for my high school Psychology class. I just read your web page
on Jared and am extremely touched. I thought your 10
suggestions for surviving the death of a loved one was neat. ...thank
you and God bless you for the work you are doing."
Dec. 1, 99 - Michelle says...
"I am new to the web. I have
been a survivor of face to face suicide of 18 months. My husband was a
beautiful man, but could not and would not deal with his depression and
in the end, it killed him. I'm writing you to thank you for your strength
in sharing. That is the only way to help connect survivors and know that
we can let the world know about our loved ones. My daughter and I have
gone through so much because no one wants to hear the word "suicide", ...well
for us it has become a daily reminder. Your web-site has helped us. Again,
Nov. 24, 99 - Lynne says...
"I must tell you that I was incredibly
moved by Jared's story. I feel certain that it took enormous effort not
only to face your son's death, but to explore and share with others the
various parts of his life--especially in the face of the many unanswerable
questions posed by his friends, family, and members of the community.
In effect, your site put a face
on suicide for me. I suppose I have been like many other people, thinking
that suicide is considered mostly by people with mental illness or overwhelming
depression. (And I have a master's degree in social work!) Seeing Jared's
picture and reading the stories about his childhood made me understand
that those considering suicide are just like most other people. I laughed
at the funny stories from his childhood--they reminded me of happenings
in my own childhood and in the lives of my nieces and nephews. I cried
reading the comments from his friends, who clearly miss him and feel such
Thank you for sharing Jared's
story. I guarantee I won't think about suicide the same way again."
Nov. 21, 99 - Melody says...
"Hi, My name is Melody. I visited
your sons page today. My heart goes out to you... for I have also lost
people to suicide. My brother David, twenty seven years ago, and my nephew
John last Oct. Your son was so young, a baby it seems... my, why can't
we stop this!"
Nov. 7, 99 - Katy says...
"Hi, I'm Katy and I think it's a
great idea to put Jared's story on the internet. It takes a lot of courage.
What I wanted to ask you is why do you think he did it? Because to me if
I were to commit suicide it would probably be because of my parents. If
his reason was the same as mine would be, do you feel guilty for not taking
the time to see that he was hurt? Write me at ..."
(I tried to write Katy at the email address she gave but it came back.
I referred her to a Letter
to the Editor written in the "About
Nov. 3, 99 - Tahirih says...
"I appreciated finding your web
site. Like you, we lost our son to suicide (July 31, 1998). I don't do
it quite so often lately, but sometimes still I wander around the web looking
for others who have had this experience. I have a deep need to know what
they believe, and feel and think about what has happened to them. Thank
you for being there tonight as I was again wandering."
Oct. 28, 99 - Jennifer says...
"Hi, I saw your website when I was
doing research for a paper that I am writing for a class I am taking. The
paper is on survivors of suicide and how they dealt with the loss. I was
just wondering if you could help me out and tell me what got you through
this loss and how you dealt with your grief. Thank you. (I referred her
to the Dealing
with Grief page) - ...Thank you so much, and the page is awesome. :)
Oct. 24, 99 - Jaymie says...
"No ideas yet... (grief
page), just starting to deal with this. Thanks for your web page, it
soothed my heart about where my friend's soul will be after taking his
own life. I'm terribly sorry about your son."
Oct. 12, 99 - Vickie says...
"Dear Jared's mom, I am so sorry
to hear of your son's death. It is truly a tragedy for anyone to die by
suicide but especially one so young. I understand your loss to a certain
degree but I have not lost a son. My brother, died by suicide...
It has been a long and hard journey for me not really understanding all
that did happen. My brother, was my best friend and when he died a big
part of me died with him. ...I just wanted to say that I feel your pain
and your loss. Thank you for sharing because it lets us know that we are
not alone in our grief."
Oct. 12, 99 - Rachel says...
"Hi, I wanted to write you and say
hello. I will be praying for you. I am 27 years old and I am a survivor
of suicide. On August the fourth my Grampa committed suicide. He left behind
my Gram and his 5 daughters, 13 grandchildren, which he helped to raise,
and 7 great grandchildren. ...I am so sad and numb. I feel guilt but I
know that is one of the stages. If I had only known... I have put all my
trust in Jesus Christ because he is my Lord. I am grateful for the time
I got to have with Grampa. ...I will see him again. I wanted to tell you
that I am grateful for the web page and thanks for reading this from me.
...even though my Grampa was 70 we loved him and still feel pain. I know
how you feel and it was beyond our control..."
Oct. 1, 99 - Devica says...
"...oddly enough, God allows these
awful events in our lives, and His purpose is not always clear. Somehow,
suffering, grief, these things are necessary for growth. ...I believe
we put way too much importance on this life, these bodies, because, again,
in the whole scope of it all, the only thing that really matters is what
we are accomplishing here for that eternal life with Jesus... ours and
others, besides, we will all receive brand new bodies when we are resurrected
the day of judgment... that will never die, my friend!"
Oct. 1, 99 - Lacey says...
"I'm really sorry for what happened... I didn't really
know Jared but he was really nice and he also rode my bus... he wasn't
on much but he was on sometimes. When I heard about it I was crying in
the halls, counselor offices were full. I really wish it didn't happen,
I don't know why but I'm sorry it was him..."
FROM THE PAST
2001 - JAN
2001 - NOV 2000-MAR 2001
2000 - NOV 2000
- OCT 2000
2000 - SEPT-OCT
2000 - AUG 2000
2000 - JUNE-AUG
2000 - JUNE
2000 - MAY
2000 - MAR
2000 - JAN-FEB
2000 - OCT-DEC
1999 - AUG-SEPT
1999 - JAN-JULY
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The diagnosis and treatment of
depression and other psychiatric disorders requires trained medical professionals.
The information provided above is to be used for educational purposes only.
It should NOT be used as a substitute for seeking professional care
for the diagnosis and treatment of any mental/psychiatric disorders.
The books are recommended as a reference, not as medical advice.