"Such are not to be condemned for taking their own lives.
Judgment is the Lord’s;
He knows the thoughts, intents, and abilities of all his children;
and he in his infinite wisdom will make all things right in due
course."
Because our thirteen year old son died by suicide, we needed an answer
to this question in order to have some peace in our heart. I hope others
can benefit from what we have found through our study of the scriptures,
and the words of wise leaders of various religions.
From experience, we know that the act of taking one’s own life is truly
a tragedy because it creates so many victims. Family and countless
friends are left to bear feelings of undeserved misery, guilt, grief, sometimes
anger, and years of deep pain and confusion. The commandment "Thou
shalt not kill" is written in four verses of scripture in the Bible.(1)
Not one of them grants self-exclusion. The rational mind knows it
is wrong.
Unfortunately, forces of stress and depression incite behavior that
is not always rational. An apostle, Bruce R. McConkie wrote:
"Persons subject to great stresses may lose control of themselves and become
mentally clouded to the point that they are no longer accountable for their
acts. (As mentioned above), Such are not to be condemned for taking
their own lives. It should also be remembered that judgment is the
Lord’s; he knows that thought, intents, and abilities of men; and he in
his infinite wisdom will make all things right in due course."(2)
We know the Lord loves each of his children and understands the good
they have done during their lifetime and the desires of their heart.
This will all be taken into account when the final judgment comes.
The prophet Alma taught:
"The plan of restoration is requisite with the justice
of God;
for it is requisite that all things should be restored
to their proper
order. Behold, it is requisite and just, according
to the power and
resurrection of Christ, that the soul of man should
be restored to its body,
and that every part of the body should be restored
to itself.
"And it is requisite with the justice of God that
men should be judged
according to their works; and if their works were
good in this life,
and the desires of their hearts were good, that
they should also,
at the last day, be restored unto that which is
good." (Alma 41:2-3)
We can feel peace in the infinite atonement of the Lord Jesus Christ,
that it applies so broadly. A great prophet, Mosiah said,
"His
blood atoneth for the sins of those who have fallen by the
transgression
of Adam, who have died not knowing the will of
Godconcerning
them, or who have ignorantly sinned."
(Mosiah:3:11)
The Prophet Joseph Smith offered this remarkable insight regarding judging
those who died by suicide, or may have been considered wicked by man’s
standards, "While one portion of the human race is judging and condemning
the other without mercy, the Great Parent of the universe looks upon the
whole human family with a fatherly care and paternal regard; He
views them as His offspring… He is a wise Lawgiver, and will judge all
men, not according to the narrow, contracted notions of men, but ‘according
to the deeds done in the body whether they be good or evil,’ or whether
these deeds were done in England, America, Spain, Turkey, or India… We
need not doubt the wisdom and intelligence of the Great Jehovah; He will
award judgment or mercy to all nations according to their several desserts,
their means of obtaining intelligence, the laws by which they are governed,
the facilities afforded them of obtaining correct information, and His
inscrutable designs in relation to the human family; and when the designs
of God shall be made manifest, and the curtain of futurity be withdrawn,
we shall all of us eventually have to confess that the Judge of all the
earth has done right."(3)
An Apostle of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, M. Russell
Ballard, said, "I draw an important conclusion from the words of the Prophet,
Joseph Smith: Suicide is a sin - a very grievous one, yet the Lord
will not judge the person who commits that sin strictly by the act itself.The
Lord will look at that person’s circumstances andthe degree of his accountability
at the time of the act."(4)
We must all recognize that only the Lord can administer fair judgment.
Only He can know the intent of the heart.
The sin of Suicide is not always as cut-and-dried as some of us seem
to think. Some of the questions we may ask when a loved one has died by
suicide is: Was the person who took his life mentally ill? Was he or she
so deeply depressed as to be unbalanced or otherwise emotionally disturbed?
Was the suicide a tragic, pitiful call for help that went unheeded too
long or progressed faster than the victim intended? Did he or she somehow
not understand the seriousness of the act? Was he or she suffering from
a chemical imbalance that led to despair and a loss of self-control?(5)
Was their physical or emotional pain too much to bare and in a state of
hopelessness they saw no future?(6) Only our Father in Heaven knows
the full answer to these questions.
When the judgment day comes, M Russell Ballard comments that the Lord
will, "Take all things into consideration: our genetic and chemical makeup,
our mental state, our intellectual capacity, the teachings we have received,
the traditions of our fathers, our health, and so forth,"(7) and
might I add, age.
This does not mean that no repentance is required. The Prophet, Joseph
Smith said, "The dead who repent will be redeemed, through obedience
to the ordinances of the house of God, And after they have paid the
penalty of their transgressions, and are washed clean, shall receive a
reward according to their works, for they are heirs of salvation."
(D&C 138:57-59)
Be assured that we as victims, those left behind, can know that our
loved ones are in good hands by a kind and loving Father. Immortality
of the soul applies to all, as does the privilege of repentance and forgiveness.(8)
As I sometimes agonize over the loss of my son, Jared, I find deep comfort
and faith in the Lord’s promise and blessing as I, and my loved ones, remain
here on earth:
"Peace I leave with
you, my peace I give unto you:
not as the world giveth,
give I unto you.
Let not your heart
be troubled,
neither let it be
afraid." (John 14:27)
Receive a Free
copy of The Book of Mormon
THE GATEWAY WE
CALL DEATH, by Russell M. Nelson (Deseret Book Company,
S.L.C., UT.) 1995 Comments: This book was the first book I
read after Jared’s death and it gave me answers to my spiritual questions
about death, and the process we all must pass through.
SUICIDE, SOME THINGS WE
KNOW, AND SOME WE DO NOT, by M. Russell Ballard (Deseret
Book Company, S.L.C., UT.) 1993 Comments: Our Bishop
gave us a copy of this little book the same day our son died by Suicide.
We couldn’t read it right away because we were in such great sorrow that
we couldn’t concentrate, but when we did read it we wished we had read
it that very day we received it.
SUICIDE, THE FOREVER DECISION,
by Paul G. Quinnett (The Crossroad Publishing Co. N.Y., NY) 1987 Comments:
This book was recommended by our counselor and has become my favorite.
Although it is written to speak to the suicidal person, and is not meant
to be a spiritual book, it answers so many WHY
questions.
WHY
did Jared do that? We now understand much more about the
mind of depression and hopelessness.
THE BIBLE Comments:
A few scriptures a day keeps the blues away.
THE BOOK OF MORMONComments:
Joy!
(1) Exodus 20:13; Deuteronomy
5:17; Matthew 5:21; Romans 13:9
(2) Mormon Doctrine, by Bruce R. McConkie
(S.L.C., Bookcraft 1966), p. 771
(3) Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith,
p. 218
(4) Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some We
Do Not, Ensign, by M. Russell Ballard, October 1987,
p. 8 or Deseret
Book Co. S.L.C., UT. 1993
(5) ibid.
(6) Suicide, The Forever Decision by Paul
G. Quinnett (Crossroad Publishing Co. 1987)
(7) Suicide: Some Things We Know, and Some We
Do Not, by M. Russell Ballard
(8) The Gateway We Call Death, by Russell
M. Nelson (Deseret Book Co. 1995) pg. 1-110
