Things to Ponder
ª If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish
ª Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
ª Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
ª If a stealth bomber crashes in the forest,
will it make a sound?
ª When it rains, why donít sheep shrink?
ª If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell
her she has the right to remain silent?
ª Why is the word abbreviation so long?
ª If a book about failures doesn't sell,
is it a success?
ª Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard
ª What do you do when you discover an endangered
animal that eats only endangered plants?
ª Do hungry cows have ravin-iss appetites?
ª Is it possible to be totally partial?
ª What is another word for thesaurus?
ª When companies ship styrofoam, what do
they pack it in?
ª Why is there an expiration date on sour
ª How do you know when it's time to tune
ª Why do they call it a TV set when you only
ª Do radioactive cats have 18 lives?
ª What was the best thing before sliced bread?
ª Why are there braille signs on drive-up
ª What is the speed of dark?
ª Since light travels faster than sound,
isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
ª If it is zero degrees outside today and
it's suppose to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?
ª Why do you press harder on a remote control
when you know the battery is dead?
ª Since Americans throw rice at weddings,
do Orientals throw hamburgers?
ª Why are they called buildings, when they're
already finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
ª Why do people without a watch look at their
wrist when you ask them what time it is?
ª Why do you ask someone without a watch
what time it is?
ª The light went out, but where to?
ª Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient
funds fee" on money they already know you donít have?
ª Does the reverse side have a reverse side?
ª If the universe is everything, and scientists
say that the universe is expanding, what is it expanding into?
ª If you got into a taxi and the driver started
driving backward, would the taxi driver end up owing you money?
ª If a tree falls in the forest and no one
is around to see it, do the other trees point and laugh?
ª Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?
ª When two airplanes almost collide, why
do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
ª Do fish get cramps after eating?
ª Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic?"
ª Why do they call it the Department of Interior
when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
ª Why do scientists call it research when
looking for something new?
ª If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do
ª When I erase a word with a pencil, where
does it go?
ª Tell a man that there are 400 billion stars
and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint and he has to touch
ª How come Superman could stop bullets with
his chest, but always ducked when someone threw a gun at him?
ª Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients
but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
ª Why buy a product that takes 2000 flushes
to get rid of it?
ª Why do we wait until a pig is dead to "cure"
ª Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean
when we use them?
ª Why do we put suits in a garment bag and
put garments in a suitcase?
ª Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of
ª Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
ª What do little birdies see when they get
ª Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
ª If man evolved from monkeys, why do we
still have monkeys and apes?
ª Should you trust a stockbroker who's married
to a travel agent?
ª Is boneless chicken considered an invertebrate?
ª I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman,
"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat
ª If all those psychics know winning lottery
numbers, why are they still working?
ª Isn't the best way to save face to keep
the lower part shut?
ª What hair color do they put on the drivers
license of a bald man?
ª Can atheists get insurance for acts of
ª If FedEx and UPS were to merge, would they
call it FED UP?
ª Does fuzzy logic tickle?
ª If they arrest the Energizer Bunny, would
they charge it with battery?
ª If quitters never win, and winners never
quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"
ª How much faith does it take to be an atheist?
ª If vegetable oil comes from vegetables,
where does baby oil come from?
ª Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality
ª What do they call a coffee break at the
Lipton Tea Company?
ª If a person with multiple personalities
threatens, is that considered a hostage situation?
ª Whatever happened to preparations A through
ª After eating, do amphibians have to wait
an hour before getting OUT of the water?
ª Why don't they just make mouse-flavored
ª Is it true that cannibals donít eat clowns
because they taste funny?
ª If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do
the rest have to drown too?
ª Why do psychics have to ask you for your
ª How do you tell when you run out of invisible
ª If you choke a smurf, what color does it
ª What happens if you are scared half to
ª Who is the general failure and why is he
reading my hard disk?
WHO, WHAT, WHY QUESTIONS TO PONDER
Who was the
first person to look at a cow and say, I think I'll squeeze these dangly things
here, and drink whatever the hell comes out!"
Who was the
first person to say "See that chicken there?.. I'm gonna eat the next thing that
comes outta it's butt"
Why is there
a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
Can a hearse
carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of coconut....why can't he
fix a hole in a boat?
people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their
crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up
Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
What do you
call male ballerinas?
are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil
is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil
electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Why do they
call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid
when it's in your butt?
Did you ever
notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take
him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Do you ever
wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
questions are by Sandy Dowden
Vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a Humanitarian eat?
~A question by
a foreign exchange student