Suicide  Bullying  depression

 

The Loss of a Son
 

(In loving memory of Tyler James Grant Trithart, October 24, 1984 to May 25, 2001)

by Fern Trithart, a parent in Chestermere, Alberta, Canada

My name is Fern Trithart. Just recently my son Tyler was killed in a fist fight. This was just not a fist fight over a girl as some people have mentioned. It was my son's precious life. He died from one punch to his face. I wish that kids would realize that fighting does not solve anything. My son was not a fighter; he went because he was afraid and did not want to be called a chicken. Tyler had many friends, but he was also bullied when we lived in the city, because he was smaller that most boys his age, and had an undiagnosed learning disability at that time. Tyler was an active child and loved his family, friends and animals. He would often help people in need.

Yes, he was your typical teenager, but did not deserve to die. Our loss is deep, we will never see him graduate, get married, have a family or grow up. We will never see his prize-winning smile, or have a laugh at some of the funny ways he said hi, or just played the part of the local comedian.

Please, if anyone knows that there is going to be a fight scheduled, tell someone, tell a teacher or an adult. Don't encourage it by going and watching, I don't wish anyone else to have to go through the nightmares, and reliving such a tragic senseless loss like we, Tyler's friends and family do each and every day of our lives. You cannot even fathom the deep pain and sorrow we feel. the emptiness of not having him with us anymore, all we have now are memories, and a grave we visit once a week.

This is reality. We are reality, and I hope that no one else will have to experience such pain and guilt of living without him. We need more programs to stop bullying and educate the adults and kids so they are not just being stereotyped because of what or where or who they are. Violence has no prejudice.

Say NO MORE... 
PEER PRESSURE IS HURTING OUR KIDS!

This can happen to anyone, no one is immune to violence. Now what are we going to do about it? There is more to my story, but the trial is upcoming and we have to protect the offender. The sad part is, who protects the victims? If the offender gets time, it will never be enough for what he has done to our family and friends.

Be responsible for your actions, think of the consequences, ask yourself what if?  You didn't have to know my family to know Tyler, he was the kid you know, the joker, who made everyone smile. He loved cars, his brothers, and would lend a helping hand to almost anyone. To this day I still ask, WHY HIM? WHY US? WHAT COULD WE HAVE POSSIBLY DONE TO DESERVE SUCH CRUEL PUNISHMENT? The answer in my head is nothing, we help, we volunteer, we raise our children to be responsible for their actions, and when they make a mistake, they make up for what they did. So why us, why him? I guess we will never know in this lifetime. I don't understand why we had to sacrifice our child so others could learn from this.

Why didn't the girl who caused all the trouble between the two boys stop the fight? Was she so important to take a life over, or for this boy to prove his manhood? My answer no one is worth getting hurt over. If you are being bullied, reach out to someone and if no one is listening try someone else. Don't give into peer pressure; your life could be at stake. I didn't realize that Tyler's fatal first blow would have killed him, and this is not an isolated incident. So if there's anyone listening out there, don't stand around, get involved somehow, if you can. This doesn't mean risking your own safety, but if Tyler knew he was not going to come home that day, he never would have purchased his new yellow mustang, three days previous, and he never would have washed his laundry and left it in the washer for me to come home and find after he was pronounced dead. It's not easy having to tell your family, friends, his friends and his brothers that he was dead, or my ailing father who had terminal cancer and only had a few more months to live. My father died 4 days after his grandson; he stopped talking, eating and drinking when he learned of Tyler's death. It's not easy being me; I'm not even sure who I am anymore. This is what violence does, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. I've become an empty unemotional robot, just getting through the day is a challenge and will be for a very long time. You cannot just get on with your life. Tyler and I were very close; we would laugh, cry and yes even argue every now and them when he didn't agree with my parental supervision skills. He was your typical teenager and if I had a chance to raise him all over again, I would only change one thing. I would love him even more!

NO MORE, STOP THE VIOLENCE!

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A Congressman speaks out about bullying, and in support of an anti bullying law in Arizona
"The school ground bully has been around for too long.  His entire success at bullying is predicated upon arrogant disregard to simple decency, and a willingness to brutalize an innocent victim simply because the bully is bigger and stronger and others are afraid to intervene.  It is insidious and calls for society and government to intervene decisively.  This bullying bill is a start.  As you deliberate this bill please reflect on the fact that Government's primary purpose for existence is for the protection of its innocent citizens.   ...Then remember your bully as a child."        Congressman Trent Franks (R) Arizona

 

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