..
Words of Wise-dom

¨ It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid and say the opposite.

¨ The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that is has never tried to contact us.

¨ If you love it let it go. If it returns, keep it, if not hunt it down and kill it!

¨ Do a job badly enough and you wont be asked to do it again.

¨ Eagles may soar, but weasels aren't sucked into jet engines.

¨ If at first you donít succeed, destroy the evidence that proves you tried.

¨ A conclusion is simply the place where someone got tired of thinking.

¨ It takes a big man to cry, but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

¨ Over 48.7% of all statistics are useless.

¨ English is a funny language. A fat chance and a slim chance are the same thing.

¨ I donít think so, therefore I'm probably not.

¨ A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.

¨ Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel across the country from coast to coast without seeing anything.

¨ If you invent something that's idiot proof, they'll just invent a better idiot.

¨ No one is listening until you make a mistake.

¨ For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.

¨ He who hesitates is probably right.

¨ Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

¨ Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

¨ To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles.

¨ The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread.

¨ The severity of the itch is directly proportional to the reach.

¨ Two wrongs are only the beginning.

¨ A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

¨ Money can't buy love. Get a new car for your spouse, it will be a great trade.

¨ Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

¨ Borrow money from pessimists, they donít expect to get it back.

¨ Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo.

¨ Five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

¨ War doesn't determine who's right, just who's left.

¨ Budget: A method for going broke mathematically.

¨ Always remember that you are unique, just like everyone else.

¨ Everyone has a photographic memory; it's just that some of them donít have film.

¨ To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.

¨ Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.

¨ Be nice to your kids, they'll choose your nursing home. 

 

 

Moms Speak Out!

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Bullycide in America

Many have asked,

"What is Depression?"

 

Here is a PDF of a chapter

from my book,

"Bullycide in America",

that will give readers an

understanding of this

horrible problem

facing millions of

people every day.

 

WhatisDepression.pdf

The Laughter Page

Church Humor

Deep Thoughts

Nerd vs. Jock

Things to Ponder

Words of Wise-dom

 

Funny PDF Files

Humor: It's Good Medicine

Courtroom Conversations

Making Fun of Exercise

Farmer Joe Goes to Court

Letter From an Arkansas Mom

Random Quotes - Rosebuds

The Bus - Word Play

About Depression

'Been There, Done That'

Jared's Life

Friends & Family

 

Keep the BALANCE in your life!
SPIRIT>MIND>BODY>FAMILY>FINANCES>SOCIETY

 

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