Here are some emails from Students, Survivors and 
Parents enduring Bullying in their schools... 

"...i went to a counselor and to the principal, both. They told me they were going to take care of it but they did nothing except give the students a little slap on the wrist. I went through a lot and I had to deal with it on my own, no matter how many times I asked for help. It kept getting worse and there were times when I wanted to kill myself. Schools are supposed to protect their students and make them feel safe. I feel like my school did neither. ...They didn't even try to help me.  There were a lot of people like me. And I know one kid who had it worse than I. But no one tried to help him either. The tormenting went on even after we graduated high school. I feel like that was because the school did nothing to stop them from doing this to him.  He killed himself yesterday.

" I was being bullied a lot at school. People used to call me fat and spit on me and throw things at me. I used to bite back so they used to enjoy it even more. But then I couldn't take anymore and I took an overdose. When that didn't work, I started cutting my wrists, and then cutting my arms. That was how it began for me.   I could just get really upset after a day at school. I'd slash all up my arms. I used to feel angry with myself, because I was punishing myself. I was angry with the whole world.  When I used to cut myself I used to feel really confused and there were lots of thoughts going through my head. I'd say out loud what people were saying to me and then cut myself. But then it didn't achieve anything because people at school found out I was cutting myself. That led on to me taking more overdoses and standing at train platforms thinking I could just jump off.  I was so confused. Every day was just the same. And I thought what's the point? Self-harm was a new way of coping with my feelings, but I didn't really cope with them very well.  I live with my dad - when my dad found out he was really upset and I felt bad for upsetting him. My brother used to help me out loads.  I went to my GP and he said he was going to refer me to someone. I took my fourth overdose at school. My friend told one of my teachers who referred me to someone at school - they referred me to the same place as the doctor.  I ended up going to a child and adolescent psychiatrist. I saw a really nice lady. It was quite good talking through things.  I think I'm coping a lot better to what I was two or three years ago, but it's still a really slow process and I just have to take one day at a time. You're never going to be completely recovered, but you just have to stop yourself. There is help out there and it's not the end of the word, because you can get help " 

The second was written for BBC Online (UK) . 

When coping means cutting, BBC , August 2003

Sam Hunt, from Birmingham, is 17. When she was severely bullied at school, she regularly cut herself with a knife - and took repeated overdoses. Doctors say the number of people coming to A&E units with self-harm injuries is on the rise. Sam now talks to other young people about self-harm and how to cope with it. She wrote her disturbing story for BBC News Online and explained how she broke the self-harm habit.  When I first began senior school, I found myself alone for the first time in two years, with no friends and only myself to depend on. I thought that there would be so many people on their own like me and that it would be easy to make new friends. How wrong I was. I tried so hard, but it just didn't seem to work. I sat alone in many of my lessons. At a size 12 to 14, and being taller than my peers, I realised I was developing quicker than them. At first I wasn't bothered. Then, as I walked the corridors, people began shouting 'fatty' at me and making fun of basically everything. One small childish comment changed my whole life: 'You smell'. It stuck and soon people were avoiding me in the corridors. I went home every night and scrubbed myself in the shower until my skin was red. Overdose The angrier I got, the more they enjoyed watching me. I was getting on the bus in the morning thinking I was going to throw up from fear.   I went home every night and scrubbed myself in the shower until my skin was red 
One November it became so hard for me that I gave in and took an overdose of painkillers. 'Good - that will make them sorry', I thought before I drifted to sleep. When I woke up in the morning I decided not to tell anyone, faking illness as a cover up. But I really did want to die. My dad and the school found out about the overdose, and a few weeks later, as I sat in my bedroom, I suddenly became so angry that I grabbed a razor and began slicing at my wrists. I hacked away for a long time before I realised that it made me feel better cutting at myself - so I moved the razor up my arm and cut there. In a way, I saw what I was doing to my body as an art - I enjoyed watching the blood and seeing what patterns I could make. Cover-up Soon I was cutting myself so often it became habit. For every person that hurt me I cut myself a little more. I would say their names aloud. Then cut. I was careful to cover it up, although looking back, I think that people knew but just didn't say anything. Once, I had my wrists right through to my elbows bandaged.   In a way, I saw what I was doing to my body as an art - I enjoyed watching the blood and seeing what patterns I could make 
I took four more overdoses, each time, more desperate, I pushed up the amount I was taking, regardless of the damage I was probably doing to my body. On the fourth occasion, I was at home alone - I just sat there thinking. I was involved at the time with Children's Express - a journalism project aimed at eight to 18 year olds. When someone from the project rang that evening, he tried to calm me down, and for the first time, I cried about the whole situation. 'I don't want to die,' I sobbed down the line. That night, I wanted to change. Low point I was referred to both a counsellor at school, and to a child psychiatrist. I hated everything about the psychiatrist, but the counsellor helped me. But I still found myself slipping deeper and deeper into depression. I just drew far away from any kind of relationship with anyone. I cut myself nearly every day, in the toilets at school, at home, anywhere I could.   Sometimes I pulled my school tie around my neck until my lips turned blue.  Other girls with similar problems approached me. One, who I'll call Rachael, was also bullied, and cut herself. We became friends. Some mornings she came in with blood all over her wrists, and she hardly ever ate. In the end, I experienced the same attitude that many people have about self-harmers: 'They can't be helped'. There seemed to be nothing that I could do. Turning around I continued to self-harm, finding new ways, as cutting didn't seem to have the same effect anymore. Sometimes I pulled my school tie around my neck until my lips turned blue, and I pulled scarves around my neck, holding them tight until the whole world seemed to spin. Once, I stood at a train station willing myself to jump off the platform, then climbed a high-rise block, finding a gate barring access to the roof. But finally I gave in and began to talk properly to the counsellor. I began telling her what I was feeling and about the bullying. I was prescribed antidepressants, then pills for anxiety and to help me sleep. I met my mum, who I hadn't seen since I was four - and it was the biggest step that I have had to make. Breaking the cycle I hope to work as a writer one day, and I'm taking A levels and working with a mental health charity, Mind Out for Mental Health. So far , I’ve spoken to lots of the media – I’ve been on BBC News , written for The Guardian and appeared on GMTV as part of anti –bullying week and speaking out about my experiences with self harm . Being bullied was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, I’ve lived in a hostel before but nothing compares to the pain of being bullied . Sometimes I do slip back in to my old habits of hurting myself – It’s something that was caused by bullying but that effected my entire life . I think that I’m breaking the cycle now though and I’m glad that I’m able to talk about bullying and encourage others to speak out .  Since this , there has been a spiral of ups and downs , with more medications and incidents like the ones described . However , next year I am going to study at University and I have my own website on bullying:  www.bullyzone.moonfruit.com .    Samantha Hunt , Birmingham , UK . 

 

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